My name is Nikki, and I was 16 when I got pregnant with my son, Kyle. I was so excited. My boyfriend and I were both scared, but also happy. How can you not be happy with the news of a new baby? Even though we were so young, we planned on taking care of our son. We had everything ready for him.
About two weeks before I went into labor, we talked about adoption and decided that our son deserved a family that could take care of him better than we could. We wanted the best for our son. It’s not that we wouldn’t make good parents, it’s just that we had our whole lives ahead of us and our son’s welfare was more important.
We met with an adoption agency, met with the parents that we chose to raise him, and got everything ready. I went into labor when his family was on vacation in Hawaii. They flew back immediately, and the four of us had a brand new baby boy. The family we picked out is awesome. They live in the same town we do, and they send us pictures and letters once a month and we get to see him whenever we want. They are so good to us.
Kyle’s birth father and I are not together anymore, but we still go see him together. Kyle’s family told us that we are like two more children added to their family. We have such a good relationship with Kyle’s family. I still cry and hurt, and I don’t think I will get over the fact that I don’t have my son to raise, but I know that over time I will get better. The pain and grief will never fully go away, but it will get better over time.
I still love my son and always will. He is my pride and joy. He is the light in my life. I can’t express my feelings for him. I love him with everything I have. He is now 18 months old, and I know when I see him he knows who I am because every time I see him he has a huge smile on his face. When I hold him, he nuzzles his head into my neck like he knows my smell. Sometimes I get really depressed, but then I remind myself that he has a better life now, and it makes it worth it.