Adoption is not a “one size fits all” choice. There are so many different options and avenues you can journey down – how will you know what’s the best choice for you? Well, I can’t answer that specific question for you, but I can give you some ideas to think about to figure out: is domestic infant adoption right for you?
When my husband and I were beginning the adoption process, we settled on domestic infant adoption for the following reasons:
1. We wanted to parent a baby.
While this may seem like an obvious reason, it’s worth mentioning because there are kids from days old to 17 years old who are waiting to be placed in homes. It’s important to be on the same page as your spouse as to the age of a child you are willing and able to parent at the time. Do you have other kids? Is adopting out of birth order something you think would work for your family? Do you like the adorably messy baby years? Depending on these answers, you might be ready to adopt a baby domestically.
2. We wanted an open adoption.
Open adoption was a concept we weren’t too familiar with before going through our adoption classes and training, however, once we learned the benefits of open adoption, we knew this was something we wanted for our child.
Open adoption can be whatever you make of it, but at its core, it means that there is contact between the birth family and the adoptive family – whether that be letters and pictures sent through the agency or visits determined by the birth parents and adoptive parents – we knew we wanted our child to grow up knowing he was and is loved. If you end up living in the same city as your child’s birth parents, you may run into them at unexpected places – is this something you’d be comfortable with? Our son’s birth parents live less than an hour away from us, so we’ve been able to have them over to our house and meet up with them for different activities. I love how our relationship has been able to grow knowing we can (and do) get to see them often.
3. We wanted our other son to be involved in the process.
Nothing against international adoption by any means, but my husband and I decided not to take that route because we knew there were kids here who were being placed for adoption, and we felt it was a better choice for us and our family. I have a stepson who was 7 when we were starting the adoption process, and he was so excited to be at the hospital the day after his brother was born. Allowing him to share in the experience was very special for us, and I know he wouldn’t have been able to travel with us if we were going overseas.
4. We wanted the support of our family and friends.
There are a lot of unknowns in any type of adoption, but we knew we had the support of family and friends around us. Our parents were able to meet our son at the hospital and they were able to help with anything, every step of the way. If we were traveling for international adoption, they wouldn’t have been able to be as involved. Knowing I could call my mom and she’d be able to come over within 30 minutes (whether I needed her to or not) made me feel very comforted and not so alone.
If you find yourself identifying with some of the reasons above, you might be ready to adopt an infant domestically. Comment below with any of your reasons for adopting domestically I might have left out!
Do you feel there is a hole in your heart that can only be filled by a child? We’ve helped complete 32,000+ adoptions. We would love to help you through your adoption journey. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.