Just because

I am a mother

I am a wife 

I am a mediator

I am a partner

Just because 

I am a daughter

I am a sister

I am a follower

I am a guide

Just because 

I am a grandma

I am an aunt

I am an example

I am a mentor

Just because

I am a sinner

I am a foe

I am a Christian 

I am a friend 

Just because 

I am weak 

I am frail

I am strong

I am bold

Just because 

I am afraid 

I am scared

I am fearless

I am brave

Just because 

I worry

I cry

I am confident 

I rejoice 

Just because 

I fall down 

I stumble

I get up 

I run

Just because 

I am worthless

I am weary

I am priceless 

I am awake

Just because 

I am a failure 

I am a loser 

I am risen

I am a winner

Just because 

I’m not enough 

I’m overwhelmed

I am confident

I can succeed

Just because 

I am tempted 

I am persuaded 

I resist 

I stand firm

Just because 

I am broken

I am scarred

I am repaired

I am healed

Just because 

I am mean

I am dirty

I am kind

I am clean

Just because 

I am angry

I am hurt

I am happy

I am relieved 

Just because 

I am a biological mother

I am an adoptive mother

I am fair 

I am equal

Just because 

I am sad

I am tired

I am hopeful

I am well rested

Just because 

I am stressed

I am overwhelmed 

I am blessed

I am at peace

Just because 

I am calm

I am excited

I am anxious

I am hesitant 

Just because 

I am going through a journey 

I am being lazy

I am prepared to learn

I am productive 

Just because 

I am getting older 

I am negative 

I am young at heart 

I am positive 

Just because 

I am anticipating 

I am lonely 

I am remembering 

I am loved

Just because

I am occupied

I am frustrated

I am free

I am content

Reflecting on my own feelings and those of other women, it is apparent that there are so many emotions involved with being a woman. Just because we feel one way for a moment does not mean we always feel that way. As women, we don’t label ourselves by individual actions in our lives. We lead complex lives full of change, busyness, chance, and planning. The website Liveyourdream.today lists 60 adjectives that describe a woman. Among them are reliable, amazing, ambitious, enthusiastic, capable, classy, professional, resilient, hardworking, smart, spirited, and accountable. The article goes on to list a few typical features of a strong woman. “A strong woman is tenacious and persistent, passionate and loving, open-minded and inspiring, disciplined and driven, reliable and trustworthy.” Of course, we can’t be everything all at once, but at some time or another, we will demonstrate one or more of these attributes. The English language has beautiful words to describe a woman.

Being a woman isn’t always easy. Different circumstances bring different emotions. An unplanned pregnancy can throw a real curveball into your life. You may feel discouraged, betrayed, or confused. Take time for yourself and make decisions based on your own beliefs, character, and integrity. Who you are has not changed—just your circumstances for a short time. It may feel as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you are not alone. Use your family and friends as a support system. There are counselors available to help you make the choice that is right for you. Adoption agencies provide services for women facing life-changing and challenging decisions. 

The desire for a child can consume your life. The years of wanting a baby nearly destroyed the beautiful life I had. My husband and I had been blessed with two healthy, amazing daughters. But for me it wasn’t enough. The monthly reminder of another failed attempt at pregnancy was devastating. Each time I would become increasingly bitter at the world and forgot to love the ones affected the most. My family suffered because of my selfishness. Years of secondary infertility included tests, drugs, and  2 failed artificial insemination attempts. The treatments disrupted our lives. When we finally decided that adoption would be our chosen course, the chaos didn’t stop but it gave us new hope. We were able to adopt a beautiful baby boy and fourteen months after that I delivered another one. Our story didn’t stop there, however. Years later I felt the desire to add to our family but was again unable to conceive. We chose foster care in hopes of adopting. After 4 years, and over thirty children later, I became pregnant and had a miscarriage. We continued foster care and came very close to adopting on a couple of occasions. After each attempt, we felt hollow and frustrated. Once again I got pregnant and we made the difficult decision to discontinue foster care. Five months after my healthy pregnancy and delivery of another baby boy, we were contacted by our state about a 2 year old little girl who would soon be eligible for adoption. She joined our family a few short months later and our family was finally complete.

I could have chosen to let those years define me. Yes, they were a part of my life, but they were not my whole life. I can look back now and remember the pain I felt and caused my loved ones, but I can also look at my life now and realize the blessings those struggles brought to our lives. Our present and future is still filled with challenges, but because I am a strong, capable, loving, and resilient woman, I can face the future with certainty.

Just because life throws us curve balls and detours, we do not have to be defined by our circumstances. A quote by an unknown author sums it up, “At the end of the day, I’m a good woman. I’m not perfect by any means but my intentions are good, my heart is pure, and I love hard with everything I’ve got and because of those things…I am worth it. Always have been and always will be.”

Just because.