Medical care during your pregnancy is important. When you decide to place that child for adoption, your prenatal care changes a little bit. Here are some ways you can make it easier on yourself and your emotions.
1. Tell Your Doctors and Nurses.
This prevents your medical team from asking questions that could be triggering or make you sad every time you go in. Let them know you are placing. Let them know what you would and wouldn’t like them to talk about with you. This is a good time as well to let them know how involved the adoptive couple will be. This also prevents the medical team from asking you how it is being a new mom after your place (which, trust me, kinda kicks your butt emotionally when every nurse asks.)
2. Make a Birth Plan.
Make a detailed birth plan for the hospital, the adoptive couple, your family, friends, and doctors. Tell people exactly who you want in the room with you, when you want them in the room, and how you want it to go. For example, I told the nurse that I never wanted more than three people in the room, and if more than that came, she kicked them out for me. I also told the doctors I wanted the adoptive couple to get a nursery armband as well as myself and my mom. Have it your way. Do what you want.
3. Insurance.
Make sure you work out the insurance situation from the minute you decide you are going to place it. Either your agency, your attorney or the adoptive couple should cover all of your expenses. You do not want medical bills six months after you place telling you that you owe money for a baby who is no longer in your arms. If you have it all set up as soon as you can, you save yourself trouble and heartache–along with rude collectors.
4. Postpartum Care
Make sure to learn how to stop milk flow. There are things you can start doing early on to make the aftermath hurt less. It seems silly to think about such things, but in the long run, you will thank me. Also know to watch for signs and symptoms of depression. Continue taking your prenatal for a while after to help with all your nutritional needs.
5. Support System
Make sure you have a support system surrounding you–someone you can call to take you to the doctors if something is wrong, someone to help you the week or so after you have the baby, etc. Find a group near you that can help you out emotionally. Also, make sure to check up with your doctor at the six-week mark. A support system is vital to your emotional and physical health. Having a baby is no easy task, and neither is placing a baby for adoption. With a good support system, you can make it through!
Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.