Open Adoption Guide: How It Works, Benefits, and Risks

Over the past few decades, option adoptions have become standard for adoptive parents in the United States. Throughout most of the 20th century, the majority of legal adoptions were closed, meaning that there was no connection or interaction between the birth family and the adopted child. However, as the stigma surrounding adoption gradually disappeared and societal attitudes changed, adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents alike began to pursue more open arrangements.

An open adoption provides countless opportunities to celebrate all of the family connections in a child’s life. Open adoption removes shame and secrecy, provides closure, and allows relationships to grow and flourish.

Defining Open Adoption

Information Sharing

In an open adoption, the adoptive family is made fully aware of the birth mother’s identity. They receive all of the birth mother’s contact information. The child may or may not interact with their birth mother in person when they are older, but having her information makes it easier if they so choose.

Ongoing Contact

The level of contact between adoptive and birth parents varies among families, although it is always ongoing. Some begin by exchanging emails or letters and gradually develop a relationship that grows deeper over time. The families may choose to physically meet, or the adopted child may decide to meet their birth relatives when they are older, after a lifetime of exchanging messages and phone calls. Each family decides what level of contact they are comfortable with.

It is Not Co-Parenting

While biological relatives may be a strong presence in an adopted child’s life, only their adopted parents can make decisions on the child’s behalf. They, exclusively, are the child’s legal parents, and do not share the parenting role with the birth mother or other biological relatives.

What Contact Actually Looks Like

The Spectrum of Contact

The open adoption definition includes regular communication between birth and adoptive families, but the families themselves must decide what that openness looks like. For some, it could mean weekly or monthly video calls, or even daily text exchanges. Others may exchange letters or packages. Some families may even feel comfortable with in-person visits.

Every situation is different. Before the adoption is finalized, both families must come to an agreement on what level and type of contact they are comfortable with.

Direct vs. Mediated

Some families maintain contact by communicating directly with one another, exchanging personal phone numbers and email addresses, and meeting one on one. In some agency adoptions, however, the families choose to have the agency mediate all contact for them.

Many adoption agencies use specialized apps to connect birth and adoptive families. Apps like 23snaps and Child Connect let families exchange messages, photos, and children’s drawings without the need to share personal information.

Visits

For families who are comfortable with meeting in person, visits can be a fun way to strengthen connections. As with other forms of contact, the type and length of in-person meetings depend on the families’ individual agreements and comfort levels. Some may choose to meet up for dinner once a month, while other families may connect through visits every few years.

The Benefits of Openness

For the Child

There are a host of reasons why adopted children benefit from knowing their birth families. On a practical level, adoptees can find out important details about their medical history, including any genetic conditions that may affect them or their children in the future. They can develop a fuller sense of identity, knowing more about their ethnic background and family history.

Openness also fights the sense of shame some individuals feel about adoption. The child does not need to feel abandoned, because they have a greater understanding of their birth family’s circumstances, along with two families that love them.

For the Birth Parents

Openness can help birth parents process the feelings of grief that often come with placing a child for adoption. By playing an active role in their child’s life, birth parents can feel relief knowing that they made the right decision, and find comfort in knowing that their child is safe and loved.

For the Adoptive Parents

Many adoptive parents are concerned that they will not have access to important information about their child’s medical or genetic background. Open adoptions allow adoptive parents to rest a little easier, knowing that they have a direct link to their child’s medical history. In addition, many adoptive parents grow to build a genuine friendship with the birth family. With many opportunities to build connections and empathy, families often develop authentic, lasting relationships with one another.

In an open adoption, two families must come together and determine what is best for the child. While negotiating boundaries and drawing up agreements isn’t an easy task, openness ultimately benefits the child—and often, both families—in the long run.

Sources

Accessed on February 25, 2026. https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/GOVPUB-T72-PURL-gpo116985/pdf/GOVPUB-T72-PURL-gpo116985.pdf
Accessed on February 25, 2026. https://cwig-prod-prod-drupal-s3fs-us-east-1.s3.amazonaws.com/public/documents/postadoption-contact-agreements-birth-adoptive-families.pdf?VersionId=dW2juF7BjVxfg6OzVNJRwZjk96kyGkC6
Accessed on February 25, 2026. https://health.uconn.edu/adoption-assistance/wp-content/uploads/sites/68/2016/07/2012_03_OpennessInAdoption.pdf