When you’re experiencing your first open adoption, it can be both an exciting and nerve-wracking time for everyone in the adoption triad. You’d want everything to run as smoothly as possible, and for everyone to feel at ease and to have a strong connection. 

What should you talk about with the birth parents when it comes to setting boundaries on the first visit? What can you do to be sure that your child and the birth parents have a great time? Should you ask where the birth parents would like to meet? Doing your research on local areas that are great for everyone to meet at and planning ahead of time is key There are plenty of great places and activities to do during scheduled visits to establish a strong connection and for you and the birth parents to get to know one another. 

Activities to Prepare

Open adoption visitations can be both exciting and worrisome for your child and the birth parents, but you can put everyone at ease with preparation activities. 

  • Make a scrapbook filled with your child’s photos, their likes and dislikes, their favorite hobbies, and letters. 
  • Cook or bake for the birth parents. 
  • Help your child create an art project for the birth parents. 
  • Plan to send videos or pictures to the birth parents before the visit.
  • Gather your child’s special items like favorite toys and books to show the birth parents. 

5 Family Activities to Make Sure Birth Families are Invited to

Open Communication

The first open adoption visit can be an emotional time for not just your child but for the birth parents too. It’s possible that the birth parents feel guilt, resentment, and regret about choosing an open adoption, so be willing to talk to them about how often you plan to visit, write letters, have phone or video chats, and if they want to celebrate your child’s milestones together. Provide yearlly updates for the birth parents so they can see that your child is happy and doing well. 

By forming a trusting bond with the birth parents, you’re thinking about what’s best for your child too.

Birth parents may feel anxious or unsure of what to say or do during the first open adoption visit; if that is the case, take the lead and let them know that you’re there to support them and that you’ll be more than happy to answer any questions they have about your child. Be kind and courteous when it comes to setting boundaries. Communicate ahead of time when it comes to planning visits so that everyone knows what to expect and where to meet. 

Places to Have a Scheduled Visit

The great thing about open adoption visits is that you can have them anywhere that’s kid-friendly! If you’re not feeling ready to plan an outing, you can always schedule the visits in your home. Here are some fun places to plan your first open adoption visit:

Parks

One of the most popular places to have an open adoption visit is at a park. The park gives plenty of space for the birth parents to play with your child, and your child can ask their birth parents to play with them. The birth parents can push your child on the swings, go down the slide with them, go up and down on the seesaw, and build sandcastles in the sandbox. You can even have a picnic at the park and get to know the birth parents while eating and enjoying the nice weather. 

Museums

A children’s museum is another great destination for an open adoption visit. You and the birth parents can learn something new about your child’s interest by the different exhibits you see. A lot of children’s museums have hands-on activities and imaginative play areas that allow children to explore curiosities and creativity. Perhaps your child’s eyes light up when they see a dinosaur exhibit or a space exploration area. Use this opportunity to let the birth parents talk to your child about what they see and learn about. 

Zoos and Aquariums

Zoos and aquariums are also excellent places to have an open adoption visit. You, your child, and the birth parents can learn about all of the different animals while seeing which animal or sea creature your child is the most excited to see. 

Libraries

A library is a calm and educational place to have a great open adoption visit. Children’s libraries aren’t overwhelming, so you and the birth parents can read engaging stories to your child and do some crafts and activities that the library has to offer. 

Restaurants

A child-friendly restaurant can be a nice place to host an open adoption visit. You can get to know the birth parents by asking about their favorite meals and allow them to offer some great food choices to your child. Forming connections over a family meal is a great way to start an adoption visit. 

Holiday Events

Depending on what holiday the birth parents celebrate, you can invite the birth parents to a fall festival, Easter egg hunt, Christmas lights, or to watch fireworks on the 4th of July. 

Planning the Next Meet-Up

Once your first open adoption visit ends, you can always make plans with the birth parents to where and when you’d like to set up the next visit. Be open to any ideas and suggestions that the birth parents suggest, and be supportive with keeping communication open. Most importantly, keep your promise when it comes to visitations for your child and the birth parents. 

Open adoption is an amazing option that brings everyone in the adoption triad together, and by planning visitation ideas, you all will have great memories that’ll last a lifetime!