Should I Adopt?

Adoption creates forever families, make sure you're ready.

Susan Kuligowski March 10, 2017
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Adoption creates forever families. Like so many other big commitments, it is one you should feel from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and enter into knowing that like so many other big commitments, it is a decision that will not only affect you, but a child as well—for life. In other words, adoption should not be something entered into until you’ve considered all of the pros and cons and you’re fully prepared to be a family to a child. And while the most obvious and important question to weigh is whether or not you are ready to become a parent, the answer usually isn’t quite as simple as a yes or a no. Before you decide to adopt, ask yourself the following:

  1. You may be ready, but is everyone else on board? Just because you are mentally and emotionally prepared to adopt doesn’t mean your spouse feels the same way. If you’re married, now would be a great time to sit down and have a little chat about your relationship, adoption, kids, and your shared willingness to throw everything as you know it into the big blender known as parenthood. If you’re already a parent, consider how adoption will impact your biological child(ren). Ultimately, this decision will be yours and not theirs, but that doesn’t mean they won’t have feelings on the matter.

  2. Although you’ll be the head of your household and master of your domain, parenthood is not an island. Single or married, do you have a support system in place—family or friends who will be there for you and back your decision to adopt? Who will embrace your child the same way they would a biological child? Although modern society seems to dictate the notion of super dads and moms who can do it all and then some (until that whole reality thing kicks in and you eventually wind up a ravaged pile of parenthood goo wondering where you went wrong and whether or not another vitamin smoothie would’ve helped), the challenges and demands of raising a child have only increased and you’d do well to make sure you have a few people you and your little one will be able to count on.

  3. All adoptions journeys are not the same, nor are the rules, requirements, and restrictions that go along with the various processes. Are you interested in infant adoption? Older child? Special needs? Sibling group? Domestic? International? Don’t rely on internet searches. Start reaching out to your local adoption community and support groups. Seek legal guidance for the answers to questions you have concerning what sort of adoptions are available to you in your country/state. Navigating adoption can be confusing and time consuming. By getting good advice and the correct answers up front, you’ll be doing yourself and your adopted child a huge favor.

  4. Are you able to afford the expenses that come with adoption and with starting a family—you know—food, clothing, and shelter? While foster care can be reasonable, most other paths to adoption are quite costly. Special needs children oftentimes require additional resources. Research the type of adoption you are interested in and the related fees. Take inventory of your financial capabilities and options so far as possible assistance, grants, and help from employers. Adoption aside, realize that starting a family has never-ending financial demands from formula and diapers to first soccer cleats and beyond.

  5. Most importantly, are you ready to give your adopted child endless amounts of unconditional love and support for a lifetime? While all families are not created equally, all children are and have similar wants and needs. You’re going to have too many blissful days to count, boatloads of infant/toddler/childhood/teen testing moments, and more than your share of life-got-in-the-way ups and downs to maneuver. Are you also ready to accept the great responsibilities of ensuring that you honor your adopted child’s past, culture, and questions and concerns that are sure to come up over the course of your lifetime together?

Adoption is a beautiful way to form a family. While not in a bad way, adoption brings added special circumstances and needs for both you and your child—make sure you’re ready and ready to respond!

 

Are you ready to pursue a domestic infant adoption? Click here to connect with a compassionate, experienced adoption professional who can help get you started on the journey of a lifetime.

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Susan Kuligowski

Sue Kuligowski is a staff storyteller at Adoption.com. The mother of two girls through adoption, she is a proposal coordinator, freelance writer/editor, and an adoption advocate. When she's not writing or editing, she can be found supervising sometimes successful glow-in-the-dark experiments, chasing down snails in the backyard, and attempting to make sure her girls are eating more vegetables than candy.


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