It comes as no shock to anyone that knows us. We are a family of nerds. The best pre-children Christmas vacation we ever had was staying home with several new books and cuddling on the couch to read for almost two weeks. I had hoped we’d have kids who eventually enjoyed reading and diving head first into worlds of fantasy with us.
I was delighted when the kids were old enough to introduce our favorite books (Redwall, The Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, etc.) To see their faces light up and hear their commentary on their favorite parts is easily one of my favorite things. Now they are old enough we can do things like watch our favorite shows with them. Top of the list is Star Trek—Star Trek The Next Generation to be specific.
We made a habit of watching an episode as a family several nights a week. I usually do something else while watching to keep my hands busy, but mostly we sit and watch and share this older show we like with these kids we adore. My husband and I have watched pretty much every episode that is on Netflix.
This past week we watched an episode (Episode 2 Season 4 “Family”) where Worf (a Klingon warrior) was anxious about his parents visiting the USS Enterprise. There’s a lot of back story to understand the Klingons and their relationship to humans. But, the main takeaway you need for context is that Klingons are a species of alien that are different from humans.
Starfleet is a multi-species, multi-planet federation whose mission is, “To find new worlds…to boldly go where no one has gone before.” They have exploratory spacecrafts that investigate different worlds and broker peace between species.
So, Worf is a Klingon whose parents died. Two Starfleet employees (humans) adopted Worf when he was a young child. They are exuberant and emotive. Klingons are generally somber and view emotions as weakness. Worf tends to be embarrassed by his parents because they gush about him to anyone who will listen.
I was prepared to be disappointed by how this decades-old space show portrayed adoption. I was in no way prepared to cry about it. The parents were talking to the ship’s counselor about their son and how proud they were of him. While doing so, they talked about his upbringing and how the mom learned to cook Klingon food, and how they spent a lot of time learning about the Klingon race so their son would feel connected to his people.
They didn’t seek to make him human. They didn’t try to change him. They simply loved him the best they could. They couldn’t help their human emotions, but they didn’t try to make Worf a human. They understood how important it was to Worf to not lose the connection to his heritage. That didn’t prevent the parents from adoring their son in a very human way. They didn’t resent his Klingon heritage and they didn’t begrudge him his emotions.
Are there things the TNG universe gets wrong about adoption? Absolutely. But I was delighted to see how beautifully the story was written. Worf’s adoptive mom was consistently loving and understanding. When she didn’t understand, she sought out information. By the end of the episode, Worf and his parents had reconciled their differences. Worf admitted he loved his parents and his parents apologized for embarrassing him.
I cried when, after Worf’s parents left the ship, his friends took time to tell him how great they thought they were. Worf admitted that yes, they were pretty good. He was still glad he didn’t have to see them all the time.
I can only hope that when my kids are grown, they will understand that even if I’m embarrassing them (which I will strive not to do), I love them and would do anything for them. I know I’m not their biological mom. I won’t ever know the intricacies of their biological family’s dynamic. I won’t know their history, their traditions, or their dreams for their children. But, I will make my best effort to learn those things and try to understand to the very best of my ability.
The concept of adoption as a whole is portrayed throughout the series. It’s not always good or bad, but usually somewhere in the middle. Since it can be typical to see one or the other in media, I think it’s nice to see a more honest approach. No, adoption isn’t perfect; but, yes, sometimes it is the best of bad circumstances.
While it is clearly a work of fiction with fantastical plotlines and innumerable species, I love how realistic Star Trek can seem. While, obviously, some of the landscape is paper mache and paint, the human interactions make it come to life. Emotions about things such as cultural pride, political posturing, inter-workplace arguments, and overall diversity are made real in ways that are clear allegories towards society both at the time of filming and today.
While researching some facts about this episode, I discovered I’m not the only person who thinks Worf’s parents are great.
A thing not specific to this episode but very key to the show as whole is the concept of found family. It’s not called that, but the idea of it is very much there. Even amid the crew where there needs to be formal address and decorum, there is real friendship and love. It is the first show I ever watched with a mixed race (and mixed imaginary species) cast that didn’t work to draw attention to the fact. It wasn’t a plot point. It was just a fact. It gives me hope that someday we can exist like that. Everyone with their own culture, not erasing everyone else’s to become one homogeneous thing but combining like a puzzle to make a lovely picture.
