I’m not sure what is better – watching This is Us before going to bed at night and waking up with puffy eyes, or watching it the next morning on my DVR and then picking my son up from preschool looking like death. The jury’s out on this one. But, I will say week after week, these characters get me good. In one hour, I get all the feels. This week’s episode, my heart is still aching an hour after turning the tube off.

Before I dive deep (yes, I’m referencing Toby and Kate who I just can’t get enough of…I mean, I LOVE TOBES and I’m so glad Kate didn’t disappoint me. Psh, that was a close call! RIGHT?!), I feel like my little fingers won’t let me discuss anything before I, once again, express my undying love for Jack Pearson. I love that man. I think he is the world’s best character (sigh and swoon).

Here’s the deal. Jack IS the everyman, or what we want to be the everyman. He’s supportive, kind, compassionate, selfless, funny, carefree, but takes care of business. He’s also Milo V. So, for sure he’s got the sex appeal. But it’s like…real freakin’ life sex appeal. It’s not the model man who is so hot he’s flawless. No, Milo’s got this lip that pulls down to the side and he’s not super tall and I’m obsessed. And, on a personal note, can we just be happy for his career? I love seeing him in such a huge role. It’s so well-deserved. OK, enough with Milo, back to Jack. This week, Jack’s realness was even more defined as his jealousy ran over. Surprisingly, this made me like him even more! The draw to this show is how real every character emotes. It’s not over the top and overwhelming. It’s just enough. Jack, it was just enough. He was mad, let Rebecca know it, and boom. He walked out the door for some air…enjoying Valentine’s Day at their spot, alone.

Rebecca. Love Mandy Moore, but Rebecca has done a really good job this season of getting me a bit riled up. Though I recognize how real her character is and who she represents, she has bugged me time and time again. However, last week and this week….I felt her. I quickly jumped on the Rebecca Train last week when she so vigorously stood up for Jack. There was no mincing of words; it was a strong declaration of her devotion, utmost respect and love for her husband. I was cheering inside as she stood up for her man. And this week, the words she said…I’ve felt those words before. I may not be in a band with an ex-boyfriend, but I have worried about unnecessary jealousy, have felt the need to do something for just me and not anyone else in my family. The truth is, mothers carry a huge load. No matter what the family situation, mothers carry a large part of the weight, and her need for music again and doing her thing is a really good reminder that we all need to take a time out for ourselves. Also a good reminder: The things we think are no big deal may be a big deal to those we love. Be open and forthright.

Kevin. Sweet shallow Kevin is transforming so beautifully, and quickly becoming a favorite. Yeah, he’s the one who had me in real tears. During the show, I started a few times, but it was him…the guy who is so good at running away and not facing painful truth now runs toward love. Whether it’s for his one true love or his brother, he’s tearing down all his walls and opening his heart. He is becoming and doing. If we want joy – that long lasting, deep down happiness that is joy – we all must go through this transformation. It’s not just that he ran to Randall, Kevin dropped what he perceived as one of the most important days of his life and/or career, and he did it for his brother. We all know that their history has been choppy at best. And yet, they are becoming stronger than ever. The image of Kevin holding Randall will be seared in my mind all week as I look forward to next week’s episode. It was one of the most endearing and healing moments I’ve witnessed on television and it really had me in tears.

I anxiously anticipate the next couple weeks because the inevitable is coming. I don’t want to see Jack die. And I know that as hard as I cried when Dr. McDreamy died (am I a tv addict?), I know I’m going to cry that much harder for Jack. I’m going to view it through my life – as if MY husband died. And because the show is written as a series of flashbacks, and we know that his death has greatly impacted them all, even though Jack dies when the kids are teenagers, I will think of myself losing my dad now. I’m not sure I could handle that very well. Next week, as we get to have an intimate view of Randall’s and William’s time together in Memphis, their bond will give a very special perspective into birth relationships and adoption. I’m so looking forward to next week. Man, the rest of this season is going to be a doozey.

So for the time being, let’s focus on what we know. Who is your favorite character? Share in the comments below.