To My Child: You Were NOT A Second Choice

You are my heart, my joy, my son.

Ryann Sefcik August 29, 2017
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Dear Vincent,

Before your sister was born, I wrote an open letter to you on my blog. I told you that even though I did not give birth to you, I would still love you and cherish you with everything I have and everything I am. Now, I write a different type of letter to you, but with the same sentiment. I love you, and I want you to know you were NOT a second choice.

Adoption isn’t the way most parents first imagine having a child, but sometimes that’s how it happens. I knew desperately I wanted to be a mom. It’s at the core of my very being. When I found out that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant (until your sister Sydney), I knew I still wanted to be a mom, so Daddy and I chose adoption. When we got the letter that your birth parents, Katy and Lenny, wanted to meet us, everything seemed to be falling into place.

I didn’t tell anyone initially when we got the email, but it felt different. It felt right. It felt like I was for sure reading about the parents of my future child. It’s hard to put into words the exact feeling, but I was sure God had a hand in it, and I immediately began praying for you. My prayers would soon be answered in the most amazing turn of events possible.

Before you were born, we had another dog, Chewie. The day we found out Katy and Lenny wanted to meet us was the same day that we had to put Chewie down. I mention this because it’s all part of God’s plan. I love how much you love our dog, Agnes, and you would’ve loved Chewie just as much. But God knew there is a time for everything. While Chewie’s time on earth was ending, your time was beginning.

I was also working part time at two different schools and looking for one full time job. I didn’t want to leave my job where I currently work – you know, the place where you love to come and play in Mommy’s classroom with all of the instruments – but I wanted a full time job. So, I began looking for other teaching jobs, putting in resumes and sitting for interviews, all the while praying that if you were supposed to be our baby I’d find some way to make my current job work. No joke, the very next day after I prayed this specific prayer, my boss came to me with a proposal for me to work full time the following school year. Once again, it was all part of God’s plan.

You were born, and I fell in love. You are so loved by your siblings, Katy and Lenny, and Mommy and Daddy. Everything that led to your birth and your adoption into our family was orchestrated by the hand of God. Nothing about you was a second choice. God knows exactly what He’s doing, and He chose you for our family. To quote a line from your favorite book of the moment, “God doesn’t make mistakes.” I’d choose you over and over and over again. You are my heart, my joy, my son. My first choice and the best choice I’ve ever made.

I love you so much Vincent.



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Ryann Sefcik

Ryann Sefcik never intended to be a writer but has always loved storytelling. Since she was 8, Ryann has performed on stages all over Northeast Ohio, using scripts and songs to tell the stories of different characters, but now it’s time for her to tell her own. Ryann began blogging with a friend at Betrothed Babies Blog after they both became moms 10 days apart from one another—one through pregnancy and one through adoption. As an adoptive mom and a step mom, Ryann personifies the thought that love, not blood, is what makes a family. By day, Ryann is an elementary music teacher and directs a children’s choir as well as a middle school drama club, but her favorite job is taking care of her three boys: ages 8, 6 months, and 35 (Her husband—he requires the most adult supervision!) She hopes to be able to bring comfort, joy, laughter, and empathy to the audience through her writing.

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