I look back on the last year of my life and am in awe at how I have been blessed. I added two families to my own and have an abundance of people to love and love me in return. My search has helped me see that.
From the age that I could understand that I had another mom out there, I dreamed about the day I could meet her. I carefully planned it out in my head, think about what it would look like. My adoptive parents would be there, it would be full of happiness, I would gain another family, and nothing negative could or would come from it. Not finding my birth mom was not an option. My adoptive parents knew I would eventually seek her out and they were very supportive; for which I am so grateful.
For me, searching was very frustrating. I first tried locating my birth mom at the age of 13. I had received a journal she had written when she was pregnant with me explaining her feelings and experience. After reading this journal, I was confident that I would have no problems contacting her, for she had promised me over and over again that she would always be registered and reachable.
With permission, I wrote a letter to my birth mom and my adoptive mom sent it off to the adoption agency for me. About a week later we were told that the agency could not find her. I was extremely disappointed and thought there was no hope. My parents and I were under the impression that at the age of 18, I would be able to contact the agency to find my birth mom. Shortly after my 18th birthday, I contacted the agency explaining that I would like to find my birth mom. They sent me papers in the mail explaining that I actually had to be 21 to try and find her.
So, 21 came and I tried the same process. When I called the agency to see how I should go about finding my birth mom, they said the only thing they could really do for me would be to tell me what she looked like and I already knew that from the journal. Frustrated, I went upstairs to talk to my mom about it. After expressing my frustration, she told me she thought she knew my birth mom’s name. She said it was Christin Scott. I had no idea what to do with this information, so, naturally, I turned to Google.
One of the first few things on that page was a Facebook profile. I seriously thought there was no way that could be her, but I clicked on the link anyway. The more I investigated, the more she matched my birth mom. From there I tried writing her a message that she didn’t receive due to privacy settings. I followed this woman for over a year before I found her on an adoption registry.
On February 16, 2013, at exactly 3:30 pm, I received the best email I will ever receive until the day I die. Christin, my birth mom, had responded to my email. I read it aloud through tear-filled eyes. My parents and I sat there wondering if this was real. I had an intense moment of anxiety and struggled with getting the courage to call her. After about 10 minutes of being encouraged by my parents, I called her to hear her voice for the first time.
Since that day, not a day has passed that I haven’t been in contact with her whether that be through text messages or phone calls. On February 21, my parents and I flew out to meet Christin, her husband, her four boys (my brothers!), and my grandparents. From the time that I made contact with Christin, my reunification story has truly been a fairy tale. She is one of my absolute best friends and I could not picture my life without her and all the rest of the family she brought into my life.
It’s honestly hard for me to find words of advice for someone who is seeking reunification with their birth parents because everybody’s story is so different. People are in different places in their lives and when one may be ready for it, the other might not be.
I have never known anyone more surrounded by adoption than myself. My birth father is adopted, all my cousins on my mom’s side of the family are adopted, I have an aunt who placed her precious baby girl, several of my cousins have adopted their sweet children, and I myself placed my perfect son for adoption.
I can testify that not one of our stories is the same. Some are happy and others will be disappointed. The best advice I have is that if it’s truly something you seek and desire, that you pray with your whole heart, with all that you have, that if it is best for you it will happen just when you need it. If by chance that opportunity doesn’t come for you in this life, please know that you did all you could and that your question was answered in the way God thinks is best for you. Please know that you are thought of, loved, wished for, and missed every second of the day and not just by your biological parents, but your extended family as well. You, my friend, are loved beyond measure and you don’t even know it.
The key message to highlight in the design: It’s honestly hard for me to find words of advice for someone who is seeking reunification with their birth parents because everybody’s story is so different. People are in different places in their lives and when one may be ready for it the other might not be.
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