It is not uncommon to hear people talk about their “community,” their “support system,” their group of family, friends, or neighbors that become your “rock” when you need support. The most important support group tends to be the grandparents of the family.
The adoption process can feel lonely if you can’t share it, or it is not accepted by family. Fortunately, our family accepts adoption, without any biracial concerns. My husband and I are very fortunate that we have two sets of extremely supportive parents who were all very excited for us. But, what is the role of grandparents and why are they so important in your adoptive child’s life?
Grandparents helped to form your morals, your personality, your foundations. Their influence will now be upon their grandchildren; they raised you and know you the best. Growing up with them, your parents were the primary people that influenced your life styles and life attitudes. This attitude extends into your grandchild’s lifestyle.
They have raised children and understand your struggles. They have been in your shoes. Even though it may have been years ago, they have been through the trenches of raising children, how to handle toddler tantrums, and will be there when you need to ask advice. They will always love you and support you. Your family never leaves. You pick your friends but not your family. So, no matter what happens, your parents are going to be there for you. Everyone may not always see eye to eye on every little thing, but they will always love you anyway.
They should be receptive to your adoptive teaching. If you are adopting and your parents are not familiar or have not been exposed to adoption, this is a good opportunity to share resources or share from your own experiences what they should expect, boundaries, and expectations that may look different. These are things that may not know, but you can help teach and guide them.
Your children’s grandparents can be one of the biggest avenues of support for you during and after your adoption journey. Use their guidance, wisdom, and support to remember you are not alone during the hard steps and waiting periods that come with adoption.