Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption: Taking Care of Yourself

This information was taken directly from Child Welfare Information Gateway

Taking Care of Yourself

During and after an unplanned or crisis pregnancy, you may feel anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and many other emotions. Be sure to get proper health care for your baby and you. Counseling during your pregnancy— particularly with a neutral, trained professional—may help you cope with your emotions and empower you to make sound decisions for yourself and for the baby. Counseling after the birth can help you learn to live with whatever decisions you make. Some licensed adoption agencies will provide counseling services after the adoption for as long as you need it. In independent adoptions, most States allow, and some States require, adoptive parents to pay for the birth mother’s counseling (with various time limits).16

Grief and loss are common reactions for birth parents after they place their child for adoption. Some birth parents also go through phases of feeling guilty and angry.17 Strong feelings of grief and regret may occur many years after the adoption takes place. It’s important to admit these feelings to yourself and to know that they are normal. Years after the adoption, you or your child may try to contact one another. The search and reunion process can be an intense emotional experience, which may benefit from professional support.18

Whatever level of ongoing contact you have with your child, counseling can be helpful. One-to-one counseling and/or support groups with other birth mothers may help you accept your adoption arrangements, resolve your grief, feel good about yourself, and plan for your future. Moving forward does not mean that you will ever forget your baby, but just that you are ready to accept and integrate the adoption as part of your life.

Continue to Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption: Resources for More Information

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Resource

Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2014). Are you pregnant and thinking about adoption? Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.

Citations

16 For more information, see Regulation of Private Domestic Adoption Expenses at https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/expenses.cfm.

17 For more information, see Impact of Adoption on Birth Parents at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_impact/index.cfm.

18 For more information about search and reunion, visit https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/search/.