I found my birth mom in May of 2013. At the end of October 2013, I discovered that I have a biological brother in the world out there . . . somewhere. I did search for him through the internet with the pieces of information I was given, but after striking out day after day, I put him behind a closed door. I had made such tremendous breakthroughs with my birth mom and her family that I decided that was success enough, for the time being. Here and there I would hop online and log into search engines to look for guys with last names that started with a C in the New Jersey area who graduated in 1970 or 1971. I would end with every name I’d written down crossed off.
Now, in the past month, I have found a new site, Veromi.net, which I use to type in names and see if their birthdays fall into June, July or August of 1970 and 1971. I used to use DOBsearch.com, but now I found a site through a guy named Steve Morse.
What I do now is find a name on Classmates.com, type it into this site, and plug in June, then July, then August. Veromi.net comes up with the name, and it says if there are any matches with those dates or not. I added another letter to my search. I was told the family that adopted my brother had a last name that started with the letter C. I decided maybe it started with the letter K, considering the person who told me this information most likely never saw the name written down. I now have some prospects. The next step I take is to plug the possible names into Facebook and hope a photo appears. Then I stare at the photo, and if possible, send a message to them (Facebook charges a $1.00 fee to send messages to non-“friends”) explaining my quest. Many people respond, all in a kind manner. Some ask me to keep in touch and give them any updates. One man works in the Clifton School system and offered me yearbooks to look through.
I have friends and family who know of my search/reunion journeys and where they have taken me and where I hope to go. When I found my birth mom, Joan, they all cheered and said it was good I finally found closure. When I discovered I had a brother, the ground I stood on shook once again, and closure fell into the cracks that opened up. The comments from my friends and family at first were first disbelieving, then concerned. “When and where will you draw the line? You found Joan, that should be enough. I do not understand your need to know.”
None of these comments came from my friends who are also adopted. I do not expect those who have not walked in my shoes to understand my innate desire to know the identity of every biological root I have out there. I am taken aback, though, that some people do not think it is a big deal to find out you have a biological sibling out there, with your DNA, probably some of your same mannerisms, likes, and dislikes.
So, why do I want to find my biological brother? For the reasons I just mentioned, but also because through finding Joan and her family, I have obtained important medical information that I could relay to him. Heart disease and diabetes runs in my biological family, predominantly the men. I want to pay forward the information I have been able to find.
