Waiting For Amy

Letters from an adoptive mother to her baby girl.

Sonia Billadeau January 08, 2014
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When a young woman carries a child within her, nine months seems like a long time to wait for something so precious and so wonderful as a baby. For the mother who is waiting to adopt a child, the wait can be much more than nine months, even stretching to years, before she feels the joy of cradling the little one she longs for in her arms. For Martha Meeks, waiting for Amy seemed like an eternity. In a journal she has kept for her daughter, Martha describes both the elation and the agony she experienced until the day she took Amy from a social worker’s arms and held her for the first time.

November 5

Dear Little Amy,

Where do I begin? I know in my heart God began preparing me for you when I was 17 years old. Now, all these years later, our whole family waits for you. Your daddy and I began the process of adopting you in July. We have done pages and pages of paperwork, been viewed by several caseworkers. Guess what? We passed. We have been approved! Now the hard part begins. We have to wait for you. It could be as long as a year. A year! I am so ready to hold you in my arms now. Your daddy and I and your brothers Chris, Sam, and Ben are impatient too. Ben is ready to help take care of you. Sam is ready to give you hugs and kisses. Chris just can’t understand why his baby isn’t here yet. He wants to teach you everything.

Your daddy and I are praying for you and for your Korean mom. She loves you too. It must be hard for her to know she must let you go. We pray that God will give her peace and reassurance that you will be a cherished and important part of a new family.

I dreamed last night that I was in the hospital where you were born. A woman handed you to me and said, “Here is your Amy.” As I took you from her, you wrinkled up your tiny little newborn face and started to cry. Then I kissed your soft little cheek and put your head on my shoulder. Immediately you were quiet and you buried your soft face into my neck and slept.

Oh Amy! You felt so real! Although I know I can’t be with you when you are born, I feel like I have held you. It’s a dream I believe was a gift and a promise from God. Your name will be Amy (the beloved) and Elise (the promise of God).

We love you Mommy

January 10

Ja (merciful) Young (glorious)…you are ours now!

Oh, sweet Amy, Daddy and I are so happy and busy doing all we can to bring you home to us and to get ready for you. When we told your brothers you were coming home soon, they cheered, danced, and smiled! When I dreamed I was holding you in the hospital, it was the same day your foster mother put you in the hospital because you have pneumonia. We have the hospital records to show it. I believe that in God’s incredible way, I was holding you that night, and somehow you felt me there comforting you, too. It won’t be too long.
I love you, Mom

March 21

Dearest Amy,

I thought it would not be long until I held you, but I was wrong. The eight weeks we expected to wait has grown to nearly eleven and counting. I could not have predicted either how much it hurts to wait for you…or how desperately I want to hold you! I did not know how slowly time would seem to pass. Sometimes I cry because I want you so much and daddy tries to cheer me up. Everything has been ready for you for a long time now. Your room is painted and ready…even the high chair is waiting for you!

We miss you. We love you. Come home soon. Mommy

April 16

Amy, you are home!

You came to us nine days ago. Life with you is wonderful. We received a phone call from the adoption agency just after 9:00 AM, March 3lst, telling me you would arrive on April 7. I hung up the phone shaking with joy. Daddy and I flew to Los Angeles to meet you. We waited for you to arrive…and waited…and waited some more. More than two hours later, you finally came off the plane with the social worker that had traveled with you. You were crying. I was crying. You were still on the other side of the glass wall and had to pass through customs before I could hold you. Our plane home was about to board. Still, we waited for you. At last, a frantic social worker ran through the door and handed you to me saying only “RUN!” We barely made our plane! Out of breathe and overwhelmed with emotions, we sat in our seats and got to see you for the first time. It was a great feeling! Daddy counted your fingers and toes. We took turns snuggling you on the plane ride home.

Amy Elise, you are beloved and you are the fulfilled promise of God for your family.

Love, Your Very Happy and Joyful Mom

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Sonia Billadeau


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