I can almost guarantee that placing your child for adoption is one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Every instinct will tell you to parent that child. Your mind takes all nine months to program your body to take care of and protect them. Placing your child will go against every natural feeling you’ll have and leave you with a void. It will take all the mental, emotional, and physical strength you can muster to go through with it, but also to move on from it. That being said, it’s definitely possible to go through with a placement and still lead a happy life. However, it takes a lot of time, effort, and soul searching.
If you’ve found yourself pregnant and in unfavorable circumstances, adoption is only one of your options and it is not right for everyone. I repeat, adoption is not the answer for everyone who experiences an unplanned pregnancy. But if you do feel that adoption is right for your child, I would highly recommend preparing in every way possible, as far in advance as you possibly can. A split-second decision to place (or parent, or abort, etc.) can leave you feeling regretful and unhappy the rest of your life.
My suggest to prepare is to look inward–really dig deep as to what you need to do.
- What is your reasoning for deciding to place?
- Do you think it’s for the right reasons for both you and your child? Just you? Just your child?
-Can you live with your decision?
- What are you going to do with yourself after the placement is complete?
- What are you going to do if you start to feel remorse for your decision and want your child back, but the placement has already been finalized?
- What steps are you going to take to make sure you don’t put yourself through this again?
- What are you going to tell people? What if people you love don’t support your decision? What if you’re ostracized for your decision?
There are so many factors to take into account that it can be daunting and feel impossible to make the right choice. It is for that exact reason that I would advise you to think ahead and prepare. You and your child are the most important people you need to be considering. All these questions and more are not always answered easily; they are even harder to carry out.
I understand that it’s hard to think past the situation itself along with your decision. These things are obviously very important, but there is life after placement. The decision to place doesn’t just go away because you are not the one parenting your child. It changes who you are and how you think. Please make sure you’re ready for the consequences of any choice you make, good and bad. They do not just affect you and they are life altering. If you consider all your options and really dig deep for a solution, you’ll find what is best for both if you.
Pregnant and considering adoption? You don’t need to do it alone. Click here to connect with a caring, compassionate adoption professional who can help you figure out what’s best for you and your baby. All consultations and counseling are absolutely free.