adopted adopted

I know this post is from years ago but I hope one day you read this. Much like your daughter, I too was adopted from an orphanage in Vidin. Your perceptions of her good health was a fabrication, like everything else you were readily and clearly so eagerly fed. Your daughter probably doesn't talk to you about her experiences in the orphanage and most likely never will. She was either too young to remember or has put it as far out of her mind as she can to keep moving forward. I'd be willing to bet she might not even talk to you about her experiences because you're impossibly overbearing and have shut her down every time she's even mentioned her abuse simply because what you saw during your impossibly brief trip(s) over there "wasn't that bad."It's people like you who idolize a false sense of romanticism in the notion of adopting a helpless and innocent child who is well looked after and loved through every step of their life that make me sick. We were abused, we were neglected, beaten, starved and harassed every day of our lives. We never had anything aside from what we wore and even then it was passed down to the next skinny body that needed at least something to cover up. It took years of therapy and relationship building to feel safe enough to get a hug without flinching let alone let anyone touch me for more than seconds at a time. Your daughter had impeccable table manners when she was adopted right? That fancy etiquette I'm sure you used to go on and on about to your friends and family was also a lie. We ate burnt toast and black tea. On a good day. I still can't drink black tea, the smell alone makes me sick. Those table manners you were so proud of were smacked, slapped, pushed, shoved, and sometimes kicked into us in the last few months leading up to the finalization of our adoptions. Prior to knowing we were being adopted, those smacks and slaps, shoves and pushes were punches and broken bones, scars that I know your daughter still carries if you know where to look. I realize I sound like a hateful and bitter person; I'm not. In fact, I'm far from it. My parents are the kindest and most gracious parents a person could really ever hope for. I have a family of my own now and I love on them the way I was raised. I came across your post a number of years ago when I was skimming for any new information I could find about my own adoption. I knew that one day I'd probably come back across this post and then maybe I'd right your tired and misinformed views. I doubt you'll ever see this as I'm sure you've finally made the leap from your old dialup hp desktop to some macbook of some sort and lost all your old passwords. If you do somehow manage to figure out your old password or heck, remember this post and create a new account just to reminisce about the good ole days, I wouldn't expect much activity from me. I guess this felt like a little slice of the world that needed to be righted. I really hope that 14 years has been long enough for you to realize that you're a moron and your assumptions probably did catastrophic emotional damage to your little girl. On the off chance you actually listened to what your daughter needed, great job - you were still a massive idiot and a prime example of what Americanism assumptions looked like in the early 2000's. Cheers.