November 24, 2021
Hi there I was finally contacted back by my state by a worker the worker that is going to do the home study she called me yesterday and told me that she was sending out a big packet of paperwork but not to get too overwhelmed and try to work through it as fast as I can and get it back to her cuz somebody please enlighten me and tell me what will be in this paperwork I'm sure it will be it a lot of different questions what I am wondering about is a financial part mainly do they run a credit check? Also wondering what I will have to prove as far as my financial to them? I make enough money to be able to survive myself just fine none of my utilities or anything has ever been turned off. I lived in my address for seven years I'm wondering how much extra money I will have to be able to have those to be able to adopt a child the child that I am adopting gets other assistance as well from the government SS??? Oh and I guess one more thing how much documentation will I have to give them as far as my medical history do I have to go back tell when I was a child? Also I am wondering are they going to want me to give them an accurate record of my whole life as far as where I lived and how long I live there and what not I am new to all this sorry I have so many questions???

November 22, 2021
Hey there I'm not sure who we need to reach out to but I would hope that I get other people on this bandwagon as far as a way to appeal a decision with ICPC if they deny you I don't think that it is very right that one State could totally approve you you have five people on your side in that state then once it goes to the sending State your state they say no that is a bunch of not good everything in life should have a appeal process why does this not? So here is my other question if we are not allowed to a Appeal a denial decision are we allowed to sue i c p c? I don't know but it just seems to me like their system is really unfair I know for one my state this evidently does not want you to reach out to them about where the process is that and I understand somewhat but you would think that they could put a postcard in the mail or something and say we're at this step? Just saying.......

September 22, 2021
If my niece was removed from her mother home and the parent rights are terminated along with the father and the child is placed in foster care can I as the auntie get custody. I was sent out a notice only when she was removed from the home as close contact but nothing sense. The foster parent she is placed with is also the child’s god mother she has been around the mother since the child was born, however they live in Indiana and I’m in michingan they are about 1hr 20 min drive not far at all. The Protective service agents told me if the child is up for adoption at any point or have exhausted foster care time then I can then request the child be place with me as the auntie. However it has been about two years now the parent rights got terminated and the father as they did not show up for the court dates and the mother did not follow thru with rehab counseling etc. The child was taken along with her baby brother who was a new born at the time because drugs was found in the baby system so both kids were taken. The baby brother father parents has custody of him and was placed with them immediately because the daddy was a drug addict as well the daughter is not his child and her dad was never in her life so she ended with her god mother which happens to be a licensed foster care parent. The rights of the parents were terminated about 6 mths ago and I never got any other notifications in the mail for court dates hearings or anything and the CPS made it seem like a long process with me being in another state and too much paper work etc is the reason why they let the child go with the only closest relative which is not blood just a god mother and foster care parent. So I believe she schooled the mother on what to do and talked her into signing custody over to her so that way when time come for notifying family first etc they won’t have to since she gave her custody and I’m sure that’s why I have not been contacted. Long story short the mother ans foster parent ( child’s god mother ) has a history together and she does illegal things to allow my sister to see her daughter when she want and take her with her sometimes and school the child on lying and not telling the CpS workers when they follow up. If the mother so happened did this gave her custody of some sort where so I stand as the blood relative auntie with getting my niece ? I have been in her life since birth as well and still go visit her out of town at the foster lady home and my niece is only 6 yrs old and she wants to be with her auntie. There is a lot of illegal things going on there and I know this because my sister has told me when she mad at the lady who happens to sell drugs to on them low which I believe that’s how my sister got on drugs . What do I do. Will cps still give blood relatives options to get this child so she is with real family and auntie that she loves and feel safe with or not if the mother hurried up and signed custody to the lady. I want to be able to get my niece without exposing all the illegal things that go on in her home and the family members her grand kids that come over there fighting drinking alcohol and doing drugs but If I have to I will but I’m afraid they may place my niece somewhere else instead of letting her come to michingan because they don’t wanna go theu the paper work with cps in another state My niece is very sad everytime I see her. She is being exposed to to much at her age and the foster lady is older with health issues but money hungry and my niece is the oldest child there and she runs her back ans forth helping her take care different toddlers that get placed in the home here and there. I’m very sad and Inknow I can escalate this and go to courts etc and fight it but I don’t understand why I was not contacted back as promised by the workers when they said if the parents rights are terminated we will come to close family first and yet they have not !!

August 15, 2021 states that in 2019, more than 672,000 US children were in foster care. Numerous amounts of research states that Foster care children are at risk for many things; increased criminal activity, debilitated mental health and poverty. More specifically, "Over one-fourth have spent at least one night in jail...over 15 percent had been convicted of a crime. This compares with only 3.2 percent of the general population who were on probation, in jail, or on parole in 2005. (Barth, 1990) (Alexander & Huberty, 1993) (Courtney et al, 2001) (U.S. Department of Justice, 2005)."' As of 2019, 80% of foster care kids have mental health issues which is a whopping number compared to the 18-22% of the general population that have mental health issues. Additionally, 50% of children aging out of the foster care system become homeless within 6 months. What does this mean? This means we must have some kind of action. Techie Youth seeks to rectify this situation by teaching at risk youth how to assimilate into capitalist working culture via technology, a sector that is expected to reach 5 trillion dollars by December, 2021. The technology industry is a lucrative one, and so by teaching children how to take advantage of this, programs like Techie Youth seek to help them. While I agree that technology training is important, it does not do enough to satisfy all the three areas of weakness that Foster care youth are struggling with; It creates opportunity for these youth to get jobs, eliminating the need for committing crime ( numerous statistics reports, like the 2016 FBI crime rates, indicate that lack of income is the culprit behind petty crimes) and it also helps against poverty. However, what about mental health? I propose that these programs include a mental health initiative-- there are so many ways you can show someone how to work a computer or follow the stock market, however if they are suffering from depression then they may struggle to stay motivated in learning these tips. According to, the average therapist in New York City, for reference, is paid about $70,000 a year. We need funding for these programs to be able to afford therapists-- a ratio of 1:14 for therapists to youth should be applied, as 74% of therapists from around the US have said this is an ideal amount of clients to meet with on a weekly basis. If the program is teaching 200 students, there should be a budget for 14 therapists to work with these students. Mental health is a huge issue that can be the reason behind a lack of motivation. If there is a lack of motivation, a lack for a thirst for life, there is no amount of technology programs that you can enroll a student in that will make a difference on them. I am open to critique and questions, etc. What do you think of my proposition?

July 12, 2021
Hi Everyone, I am new to this. My brother and I both were adopted separately by the same wonderful parents. I found my biological parents when I was younger shortly after I turned 19 years old. However my brother who is older than me, just recently decided to find his biological parents. My brother was born in Stockton California in San Joaquin County. His birthday is December 21, 1970. All we know is that his biological mother and father were married at the time and kept him for a short time, then they decided to give him up for adoption. My brother and I do know that they were over 21 years of age when they gave him up for adoption. Of course, my brother’s adoption was a closed adoption, as it was in 1970. The San Joaquin Department of Public Assistance in San Joaquin partook in the adoption through the San Joaquin Superior Court, through Judge John B. Cechini. My brother is nervous about taking a DNA test. I do realize that taking a DNA test may be his only option towards finding his biological parents. If anyone knows any information in regards to what else I can do to find his biological parents, please feel free to let me know. Thank you so much. My email is

June 22, 2021
Hello, Does anyone have experience being granted kinship placement despite being listed on the child abuse and neglect registry? I am currently in the beginning stages of the ICPC process in utah. I may be on the registry from 10 years ago (long story but definitely false accusations.) I was never charged with neglect either. I was upfront with the ICPC worker about this and told her I didnt want to go through with the homestudy if this was a deal breaker, however, she assured me that if i did come back as a match on the registry (in CA) then I would simply write a letter to the office of licensing and they would either approve or deny. She told me that it is still possible to be approved. My livescan came back already and its completely clear, not even a ticket on there, Im also a registered nurse and it never came up on my livescan with the board but im not entirely sure if they run the same checks as DCFS. Im still waiting for my out of state adam walsh check to come back. Please let me know if anyone has been approved for placement despite being on the CACI. Thanks!

June 16, 2021
My son met his birthfather and siblings last year. They along with his bio grandparents are coming to his high school graduation party. How should I introduce Them to friends and family?

Tiffany Collins
March 27, 2021
So my boyfriend just found his adoptive mom and siblings. He’s been so excited and I really want to be excited with him. However, I’m really scared that he’s going to get hurt. He is sensitive and has ADHD. Ever since he’s found them he seems to be happy. Whenever he’s with me it seems that I bring him down... well his mood. He says I’m always fussing at him. I’m worried that he’s going to leave me if I’m not supportive, which I really am trying to be. Every time I try to talk to him he kind of snaps at me. We hardly talk anymore, it seems like he’s becoming more distant. Please tell me some good advice because I’m emotionally hurting.

Anna Horn
February 28, 2021
I was born in Swansea to a 16 year old single Jamaican girl. She tried her best to keep me but the system denied her any support or other options, so I was placed into care at three months of age. I was fostered and finally adopted by a very nice white middle class couple by the age of eighteen months, and settled into place as the youngest of three daughters, my elder sisters being their natural children . Located in South Wales Uk, swansea was a city where during the 1970's, the only black people that the local people had ever seen, were the blacked out faces of The Black and White Minstrel Show. If you're not from the UK, then you've probably never experienced the joy of Saturday evenings, when every family would be glued to the TV set, watching this craziness unfold before them... [[img][/img] That really summed up the level of cultural enlightenment during this era! My adopted parents loved me. They had spent some time in the Cameroons in East Africa, where my father had been stationed whilst he served as an officer in the Merchant Navy. Upon their return to Wales, they vowed to adopt a black child (My father was a Liberal haha). So after hanging their assortment of African memorabilia in prominent positions all over the house, and purchasing a handful of Calypso LPs (which my father would sing to me), they felt prepared to handle any obstacles that this adoption would throw their way over the following 18 years.... I am now 53, and I can honestly say that the primal wound of being separated from my birth mother, the resulting abondonment issues (that Donald Trump would be proud of), the relentless racist abuse during my childhood from my peers and total strangers, and the ongoing identity crisis have marred my entire adult life. It has been a work in progress, battling social anxiety, addiction and significant inner loneliness. My journey of self discovery has included being reunited with my birth mother (and being un-reunited), re-locating to London to find people that looked like me (I saw black people on the tube during a girl guides day trip to the Commonwealth Centre...), finding endless brothers and father was a busy man evidently, finally, feelings of self-acceptance and understanding have begun to creep in...finally. During my journey, I have read some marvellous books, found some life-changing resources...and even learned to cook some West Indian food which my children adore. I've been blessed with four children, the youngest being an added gift as I adopted him from a relative in my adopted family. So I've seen both sides of the coin! I hope that the articles and experiences that I post, and any recommendations that I make, help any adopted people (transracially or otherwise), that see themselves mirrored in my story. I have created two Facebook groups so we can create a little safe haven and community. I've found it so exciting over the years, when I've met another adoptee. So many shared experiences! Please feel free to comment on any posts, join the FB group and share your thoughts and story with the rest of us. We've Found Our Tribe! Anna

February 25, 2021
Alcohol and drug addiction can become a major issue in life due to childhood trauma concerning abandonment. I never medaled with drugs or alcohol until I read my dhhr adoption file when I was around 40 years old and I literally went into a spiral down fall from there. The pain was and still is unbearable to the point I don't want to feel anymore.