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February 14, 2020
I just wanted to share my story and hopefully it helps someone going through this scary similar process. I share a child with this man named (let’s call him) Gary. I got pregnant when I was very young and from the moment I had my child (let’s call him) Josh , I knew being a mother was the most important thing to me in the world. Gary and I fought constantly and sometimes unfortunately it would turn physical. You see it’s hard for me to say Gary actually ever cared about being a father, because to me it was more of a means to control me. I won’t bore you with our complicated past.. anyways after fighting in court and having his family hire an expensive attorney against me we had to come up with a parenting plan. Gary was to see Josh two days a week at his parents house and pay the lowest amount of child support possible. Gary also had to summit clean urine samples when the court asked because of his drug court orders. (Oh yes, he also has a drug and alcohol issue) . Anyways, Gary stopped coming to visits. Never paid one dime of his court ordered child support and moved to an other state without even notifying me. It has been over 6 years since Gary has had any communication with Josh. I happily got married a few years ago to a wonderful man who loves Josh as his own. So after hearing Gary had yet an other fail with his rehab I decided it was time to take action. I was terrified but knew it was the best thing to do for Josh. I hired an attorney and I suggested if you are going this rout you hire an experienced attorney with step parent adoption and TPRs. Also be prepared because it does get expensive, but completely worth it in the end. I knew Gary was not going to consent the adoption because he is a person that needs to be in control. He is all fine for someone else to raise his child and take care of him physically/emotionally/ and financially.. but in no way does that give them the write to be called his father (the world he lives in is a Delusional one). So we started the process back in February. It took a few weeks to find him because he did move to an other state but once he was served half the battle was already over with. Once he was served a hearing was scheduled. He had a little over 3 months to figure out how to come back to our state and hire an attorney of his own. In my case I was lucky... he put more effort to request to appear by phone than anything else. He never hired an attorney because people like Gary like to think that they are a lot smarter than what they really are. So hearing was in the beginning of April. My attorney was ready. The judge placed the phone call and that’s when the nerves over took me. It starts off by the judge swearing both parties in. Since Gary was representing himself he got to talk a lot more than I did. I was restricted to yes and no responses only and to be honest it drove me nuts. Gary went above and beyond. He blamed me for his drug and alcohol problems . He blamed me on why he moved (even though I hadn’t spoken to him years prior) He blamed me on why he never kept up with Josh. He even went as far to state he had given my child support checks, I would just never cash them, and if I did I would bunch them together and cash them all at once to make his account over draft. ( that made me sick to my stomach) I was being verbally attacked.. and every time my lawyer would try to interject.. she was over ruled. At that moment I was accepting defeat. I looked at my husband with tears filling up my eyes and at this point I had to try my hardest to toon out all the lies that were being said about me. I began to look at my attorney with eyes yelling at her saying DO SOMETHING!!!! Then the court room for quit. The judge looked our way and asked my attorney why this adoption was in the best interest for Josh. My attorney responded with state law facts on child abandonment in our state. She then focused on Josh’s relationship with my husband. How my husband has done all the work... so why can’t he receive the credit and honor of being his father. The judge asked Gary why Josh shouldn’t be adopted. This is where Gary shot himself in the foot. He began rambling on about how he takes full responsibility for not being there for Josh, but that at the end of the day it was my doing. He kept saying over and over again how he would do anything in the world for Josh and would even move back to the states and take Josh to see a child Psychologist to wein Gary into Josh’s life. At the point the judge then calmly asked him.... then why are you not here now? At that moment I felt like I could breathe again. For someone who had almost half a year to present evidence and make arrangements to attend an very important hearing .. he spent more time bad mouthing me and filing motions to appear by phone. When the judge overruled my lawyer he wasn’t doing to because he felt Gary was on to something, he did it because he was absorbing all the BS. He saw right through it. This is the very 1st time that this particular judge waved a biological fathers consent for stepparent adoption. I was in complete shock. The judge even went as far to thank my husband for everything he has done and he feels that Josh is better off having him as a father. At the end of the day we met all the requirements for child abandonment. Despite Gary saying he was ready now to be a dad.. he was 6 years too late. Hope this story helps someone in a similar situation. And remember at the end of the day all these judges care about is what’s best for the child. I’m not saying that only because we won. Watching my judge actually Absorbing every single word that was said and giving us a change to explain why both parties feel their position is best for the child meant everything. It’s hard to listen to the terrible things the other parent will say about you.. but remember none of that matters and the more reserve you are, the better for you and your child. Best of luck.

February 11, 2020
Hi, I'm new to this web. My name is Matthew from Indonesia and I'm now 24 years old. I really hope there will be someone out there for us. Well, 6 years ago I had an MBA incident. Married By Accident, which is such a disrespectful and disgraceful thing in a family, especially when I was only 19 at that time. Parents and relatives did not accept us. Wife also had a broken home. Me and my wife love babies and every baby is a blessing, therefore it was a big no to do abortion. We decided to run away from where we were (the capital city Jakarta) to this small peaceful island called Bali. We turned off all social medias and phone. We only had money to live from selling a laptop and a little scooter. Long short story we got legally marriage documentation and certification which both parents finally approved. Since then, there are separation between me and my parents that is hard to explain. Wife cried everyday and I was always there to comfort and pray for strength and forgiveness for our mistake. So, living in Bali was peaceful as we started from zero, but we had no parently love and care. Two years later we had a second daughter. Now, me and my wife Carolina have Hilary 6 years old and Emma 4 years old. We are living good but just enough for living cost. So last year I decided to earn more so we could have a better life even though I have to be apart from my only little family. I made around 3 times better than what I did back home by working as a restaurant attendant in a Cruise ship. The contract is 8 months away and 2 months home. Being separated was a bad idea. On my second year I am promoted to Lifeguard now, as I know that life is a such a blessing and I want all children and everyone to be safe on my watch. I don't have a degree but I am a hard worker as on the ship we never have a single day off for 8 months. Please do not worry in order to provide our little family their daily needs. I just want to have a parents who loves unconditionally. Also for my daughters to have a true grandparents who loves them. I and my wife also still need advices and tender loving care from good parents. I will be there to take care of you until your old days, the house and gardens, to drive you around and to do your groceries also as a house helper. I never have a bad record and I want to bless people too with my skills and my time. I am really hoping and praying to have the right daddy and mommy and grandma grandpa for my daughters who really accepts us. Kindly contact me at matthew_windson@hotmail.com Or whatsapp +6283891181120 So we could talk more about our future. Prayers and blessings, Matt and little family.

February 4, 2020
I have been on the search for the last year for my dad’s lost biological family. Some think I’m too late, but I’m not giving up hope. I’m searching for my dad’s biological mother which would be my grandmother. The original birth certificate had her name as Eleanor Gordon and my dad’s as Baby Boy Gordon. He was born with red hair, green eyes, and fair skin. I’m coming with the conclusion that her name was a fake, or her first name was fake. She was from Decatur, IL and went to Springfield, IL at around 4 months along to stay at St. Monica’s for unwed mothers to finish out her pregnancy. At the time, it was 1958 and she was 18 years of age just finished high school. We don’t have her birthday, but I’m guessing that she turned 18 years old prior to having my dad. She birthed him on September 23rd at St. John’s hospital and went straight to the Catholic Charities orphanage after birth. He stayed in the orphanage until he was around 3 months of age. We know very little about her features and health background that we got from the “non-identifying information.” We did get that she was around 5’7ft tall, dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She finished all 4 years of high school and some other little stuff. My dad’s biological dad I found with ancestry very easily, but sadly he passed around 5 years prior so I can’t reach out and ask him. It would’ve been interesting if I could’ve reached out to him since he had no idea about my dad and sadly never will. After a year of looking and searching, I’m coming to terms that someone put an alias name on the original birth certificate or altered something. Could someone help me out? If you were at St. Monica’s in 1958 or are from Decatur, IL and have some leads for me, I’d really appreciate it. I’m looking for her because I need more family medical history information and to know what I come from. History interest me, as well as knowing what I have coming to me as I get older. You can email me at mcapranica05@gmail.com . Meghan

February 3, 2020
Hello, I was given up for adoption 61 years ago. NYS just made it a law that we can obtain our pre-adoption birth certificate. Based on this I found my birthmother but I don't know how to approach her. Not sure what to say. Help

February 2, 2020
Hi my name Michelle Brooks I hav autism an drug resident epilepsy Dr say seezur get wurs an soon they say can not liv alon my family not like me they very mean my sister tell me I should just die nobody will care but that is how they all are so I hav always want to hav mommy and daddy that love me and be nice me I want new family that will adopt me and take me away from this that is all sorry so long 😔😔

January 10, 2020
Sorry for the long post I just need some advice or help. When I was 19 I got pregnant and had my first baby boy by age 20. He was a gift from God and still is. I was a single mom, his dad has NEVER helped. He didn't even meet his son until last year when he was already 3 about to turn 4 yrs old and he still doesn't help. But when my first child was just 18 months old I got pregnant again by accident with another beautiful baby boy. I knew he was a gift from God too. I was on BC and using protection. I hid my pregnancy for awhile but see I was living with my parents paying them rent and they didn't help at all except of course allow us to live there but I paid my own bills and took care of my son and worked a very hard job especially for a pregnant woman. So I'd have to come home early sometimes and they knew something was up. I told them I was pregnant and they were furious. They wanted me out of their house. Even though I paid for everything and stuck to myself and gave them privacy they didnt want me having another baby in their household. So they gave me a choice of giving my baby up for adoption or they were gonna kick me/us out. I said NO so many times and just ignored them and we'd argue. I can't say they "FORCED" me because they didn't like hold a gun to my head but they still gave me no choice. My 1st sons father had disappeared and my 2nd sons father moved to SC and blocked me and just told me to get an abortion. I called family and friends and no one would even give us a place to stay until I could find my own apartment but I couldn't afford daycare for a newborn and 18 month old and a car payment and a even more expensive rent payment then i was already paying. So I agreed to MEET with the family. They were close friends of ours at a church and they promised me pictures, videos, they promised I could come see him and come to his birthdays ect, ect. I still said no but thought it was my only choice. My own family didn't wanna help me and my kids fathers were GONE. So I contacted them back and agreed as long as I could see him. Well the day i gave birth I told no one except my parents. Just me and my newborn and my 18 month old son up there hanging out. and I texted and called everyone and I was like NO I love my son I cannot just abandon him like that, I'm sorry but I'm not doing the adoption. Even though the family he was gonna be with are pastors, they're loaded rich, and have 2 other kids and are very loving. I still said no. I LOVE him. I didn't want to let him go. My mom came up there and was like "baby you have to do this cause you can't take care of 2 babies under 2 all alone with the little amount of money you make and you can't live with us anymore." I tried getting other jobs and getting government assistance. They wouldn't let me. So I told her I'd think about it but when the hospital sent us home the people were already there!!!! I told them to leave. I didn't sign anything and I have told yall NO several times. I didn't agree to a thing I said I would think that's why I havent signed anything. So my parents were like well your gonna be homeless with 2 kids and then the people just left with my baby. They said it was illegal if I didn't even though I hadn't signed anything. Never talked to an adoption agency or lawyer. Like they jsut disappeared. they blocked me on EVERYTHING. changed their numbers. they even went as far as saying i was harassing them and stalking them so they got restraining orders on me. I called the police, CPS, lawyers, judges and explained everything to everyone and that i didnt sign anything. they wouldn't help, they said I was crazy. the family told me to go kill myself and that he was their son now and to leave them alone. I have their address but like I said I cant go up there without getting arrested and I have my other son to think of. They tell everyone I hated my baby and was on drugs and was gonna get an abortion and that's why they saved him from me. But none of that is true. I never wanted an abortion and never even thought about it and I never did/do drugs and I wanted and still want my baby! Now even when I make fake facebook/yt/instagrams they find out magically and block me! they wont even allow me to see what he looks like. idk what my child sounds like and he is 2 years old now. Idk how he smells or what he likes in toys or even what size clothes. I send him gifts to the address I have and I send letters but idk if they live there anymore I just send them so hopefully he knows I love him. but for 18 years until I can legally contact him he is gonna think i wanted to abort him and that I was on drugs and just gave him away. but I didn't I faught for him. I even called lawyers and police and PI's but no one would or could help. I think about him everyday/all day and i just miss him. theres so much hurt and pain and idk what to do. they've somehow changed his last name to theirs and i didnt even agree to that or sign anything. but I have his SS number and the SS office said his number is the same but the last name is not the same as mine. idk how but they legally adopted him. I've tried for 2 years to get him back and I've spent all the money I could and still lost. I feel horrible. I'm sad. I dont eat, sleep, shower, sometimes I overeat to help with the pain, sometimes i get so drunk I dont rememeber things and I honestly just dont know what else to do. I'm with a man that loves my child like his own and he loves him like a dad. He takes care of our son, chores, works, cares for us. and I'm just useless cause I cant even get outta bed and it's been 2 years. I miss him. What should I do? medicines dont help. I have no friends or family cause they think I just abandoned my baby too. but I didnt. Do you all think I was horrible? what should I have done? help me. please I have no one to talk to and I'm thinking of just running away. theres nothing I can do. I've tried it all. I know I'm a horrible person. But advice or anything would be highly appreciated.

January 5, 2020
Hello my name is Kimberly Jackson and I am searching for my half sister. She was born March 23 1990 and was adopted April 17 1990. I never met her but would love to meet her and let her know some of the medical issues in our family. Her birth name is Maria Magdalene Durisko and i am not sure what it was changed to after adoption. If you are her reading this or if you can help me please email me at kljackson56@gmail.com.

January 2, 2020
Hello, I’m 28 years old and looking for a mother figure or father figure to treat me as their family. My birth parents haven’t been in my life in a long time. I have no contact with any family members. The only memories I have of my parents is how they were so mean to me and verbally abused me all the time. Not having a parent figure/family upsets me a lot. I tear up often when I think about it. I get very lonely not having a family. I would love for someone to treat me nice and be there for me. I would like for someone to show me what it’s like to have parents/family since I’ve never really had that. If you want to chat you can email me at anita.mcdonald@aol.com