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August 13, 2020
Hello Looking for some input on out of state adoption. We live in a small state, so we were looking to go elsewhere as well. Was it difficult? How were visits managed? How long did it take? Paperwork? Etc. thanks for your help!

August 7, 2020
In this blog I will be promoting different resources, groups, studies, and advice for those effected by post adoption or post birth maternal separation disorder. No matter if your symptoms be an inability to connect to babies or physical PTSD you get for a reason you don't remember, this is a blog that may help you and those around you.

August 7, 2020
I’m feeling even more defeated lately than I normally do. I was adopted in family at birth and was raised as my family secret. I had started questioning things at an early age, but was lied to from the start. The differences I noticed and the connections I wasn’t able to form seemed to be blamed on me for not being up to par with my adoptive siblings. At 16, my depression forced my adoptive parents hand and they admitted that I am in fact adopted and that my birth mother was someone I was familiar with — my aunt. This was at first welcome news because I knew her, I knew my older siblings. I could see myself. The problem started creeping in once it started to sink in. I knew her. She had older kids. She raised them. She relinquished me. Naturally, I was consumed with questions and the realization that I had been lied to for years. After some time in therapy, I decided to reach out to her. My birth mom started telling conflicting stories and wouldn’t outright say that she did give birth to me. Just recently, I’m 26 now, I was informed that she had been attending my adopted siblings events and taking them to lunch randomly. She’s also starting to take on more of a “mom” role with her grandkids and seemingly flaunting their closeness in my face. I’ve tried many times to get straight answers from her, but she seems to want to change details as she seems necessary. Then in person, when she is around me she wants to be around me as if I’m not aware that she’s lying. I’m not really sure how to proceed with this anymore or if I should keep trying at all. It’s caused more than enough damage in my life, but I’m not sure how to tell my adoptive dad that I cannot be around her. It makes him choose between his baby sister and his daughter. I feel like I’m losing myself all over again trying to figure out why she didn’t want me, how she continues to deliberately reject me, why she seeks out relationships with everyone around me. I haven’t pushed her for anything other than the truth. I also understand that she may not want a relationship with me. What I don’t understand is her asking questions about me to everyone around me instead of having a real conversation with me.

May 27, 2020
When I was 17 and a senior in high school my girlfriend (same age and grade) got pregnant. We were both so scared and had no idea how to approach such a grown-up situation with our adolescent minds and problem solving skills. The back and forth we went through, the indecision and agony we went through over what to do sticks with me to this day. I'm 34 now and my bio-daughter will be 17 on the 20th of December. Sophie, wherever you are out there, I want you to know I think about you everyday and love you so dearly. My greatest hope is that you are healthy, safe and happy. My one wish and prayer for myself in this lifetime is that I meet you one day. And Elaine, sweet Elaine. I loved you more than heaven and earth. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy. You made me feel like the luckiest person in the world whenever I was with you. You had the innate ability to make every little rotten thing in life feel like it was going to be okay. No matter where I go in this life, whatever comes to pass, I will always, always, carry a room for you in my heart.

April 25, 2020
Hi there, I'm new here but I've read quite a few posts and they've helped a ton. Not all have answered all of my questions so I thought I'd just ask my own. A little back story, my husband and I were married for 5 year and had tried every route of fertility treatment in our means. My sister in law text my husband and asked to barrow money. (She did not know yet the doctor had just 3 days prior confirmed there was no physical way I would ever conceive on my own or carry a baby past 12 weeks.) He asked her for what and she said for an abortion. She had 2 other kids that she was barely able to take care of and knew she couldn't add another with the father abandoning her the second she told him she was pregnant. We didn't reply right away as that was very painful for us to even imagine helping with just being given the news from the doctor. A day or 2 later, she calls and says she had talked to my mother in law and was wondering if we'd like to adopt the baby and have her and her kids live with us so we could be involved through the whole pregnancy and help her as well. Long story short we did and everything was amazing. Fast forward 5 years we told my daughter she was adopted but were suggested because of being a relative to wait until she asked to tell her who her bio parents were. So here we are to the reason for me joining and my post. My daughter is now 12, and because i.f a school project in genetics the question had arrived. We've for the last 5 years been estranged from my sister in law because of some major drug and lifestyle choices we are not supportive of and choose to be distant from. We're still in contact with my niece and nephew and to her, her cousins. My sister in law has recently told my niece and nephew that my daughter is their bio-sister and at their next chance to tell my daughter so she'll come running back to her and leave us because I'd the horrible people we are. We know that wont be the issue because with my daughter seeing how she lives and the choices she's made, she dispises her. We are planning to tell my daughter in ther next day or 2 because my niece wants a sleep over again and don't want this to be taken out on my niece but I want our daughter to hear and feel the news of her bio from us not her cousin. So the question, how do I start the conversation? I don't want to just: "Hey, the moon is huge tonight, by the way meme is your bio mom." How do I work into it? Also, we know who the bio- father is but have no contact but he's very active on Facebook, (because I check his page often) so I believe there could be contact if she wanted. There is also more sibling on that side as well. What reaction should I prepare for from her as well? I know everyone is different but a little insight would help my mind prepare as well. Please, any input would be very appreciated. Thank you so much.

April 23, 2020
This is my first time writing in this forum and my first attempt to verbalise what I'm feeling so please bear with me.. I am 36 and was placed in my adoptive home shortly after my 4th birthday and have always known and 'understood' the reasons for my adoption. After years of internal struggle, anxiety and depression I finally decided to actively find my biological parents and got my file from my local authority who handled my adoption. Fast forward a year and I actually stumbled across my half-sibling on Facebook which led to make contact with my only full sibling (I wasn't aware I had a full sibling) and another half sibling and both my biological parents. Some might say jackpot! After really positive reunions with all I looked forward to building relationships with them all, however after the initial meeting both parents have withdrawn. I have since developed an irrational anger, I understand having read my file, and spoken to my siblings, and in part to my biological parents about what happened. But I have this sense that I have been rejected again by them. I understand that they were unable to be parents when I was born, and I get they are still not able to be parents but I can't help the feeling that they should step up a bit more. I'm their child for all their declarations that they wanted me, loved me and wish that they had known me as a child etc etc but they just can't seem to think of me first. I'm a parent myself and I would give me last breath to protect my children or to tell them I loved them that last time. But even as grown adults 30+ years later they cant see past themselves. I know I should be grateful I had a wonderful childhood, an amazing husband and 2 beautiful children but why can't I shift this soul crushing anger and hurt? I want to move on, deal with the fact they don't want to be active in my life etc but it hurts, its like I wasn't enough to fight for as a child and I'm still not enough for them.. Am I stupid? Will I ever be able to just move past this? I find it hard to verbalise how I feel to my family, I try and my hubby almost gets it but there is just this sense that they just don't get it, am I making too much of this or am I justified in my feelings? I want to feel something other than deep routed anger, I feel I constantly have to squash the feeling down in fear it will all come out and people will look at me like I am mad! ***sorry for the rant!

Aileen Porter
March 29, 2020
I am new to this, so here goes! I am 43 years old and I am trying to find closure to this. According to my mother she never signed any papers to have me adopted. Unfortunately, my "so called father" I call him that because I have never met him but met his sisters who I thought were my aunts, are telling me that he never knew I was his etc..its alot of he said she said things. Obviously no one is going to tell me the truth but I need closure for myself regarding if I was legally adopted or was i just given away. and If that is the case then how could i be added to medical insurance by the family that raised me; I mean I have so many unanswered questions. I just want some type of help!! can someone guide me in the right direction. And not to mention I have chosen Family as my topic for my "multigenre research paper for school. So this is my own personal journey.

March 21, 2020
I am searching for the following Birth Father:Jack M. Toth 6821 il Regalo Circle Naples, FL 3410, Birth Grandparents:Angela and Jack Toth 3531 Creekview Drive Naples, FL 34134, Birth Aunt:Cheri and Mike Lewis 5736 Twin Lakes Ct. Westerville, OH 43082. Half Sibling: John Ross Toth and/or his mother Dee Dee Brown-Toth Texas? Just seeking some health and genetic information. All attempts I have made have gone without response. I was told by my birth mother, whom is now deceased, that the paternal family denies I exist.