how did you meet your older child?

We too adopted from a different state than which we live (we live in western Canada - adopted from Missouri). Once we were chosen for our boys (siblings) we then were able to have contact with the foster parents directly (hours of phone calls pressing for details!) We put together a photo album/story book of us, our house, family, pets, schools, McDonalds (you know all the important stuff to kids) as well as a video of us talking to the kids, showing them their room, our room, where they would eat, bathe etc... we also sent along a simple toy (teddy bear) that we had in the video and asked them to please take care of it until we could be there. We did not have direct contact with the boys until AFTER we arrived in Missouri .. then we did a 5 day transition starting with visits in their foster home, then visits at their school &day care and then taking them out for the day, then overnight etc... Basically it was crazy for a while -- we had two chatterboxes the WHOLE way home (*and thats a Loooooong way!) yes there might be some silences .. but you will have lots of catching up to do. Good Luck!

Jamie, short version - we got matched while away camping. On the cell phone from the camp site the sw asked if we were sitting down. I was, but hubbie was gone off somewhere. Then she told us we were matched. We did have a meeting with our dd where we had to officially say 'yes' we wanted to adopt her. The sw made us say that sentence to her. We rushed home from camping and 3 days later started transition visits - we did 2 weeks of visiting and a few overnight visits before she moved in. It all happened in the space of 17 days ... now I look back and wonder why I was stressed!!! Good luck, Kalynn.

our first son was in our state so we met him without him knowing we were interested in adopting him. After the third mtg, the sw told him we would like to be his parents and asked his opinion. He said yes. His first visit to our house was a few hours, next a day , and then a weekend. The second weekend visit he moved in. Our next child was from a different state. We flew there for a 5 day visit with the understanding that if it went well and he felt comfortable, he would go with us permanently at the end of the visit. If he didn't feel comfortable, we would have had to visit again. The third adoption was really awesome/ We had a webcam and so did the child's foster home so we could see him in action and he could tour our house, see his bedroom, etc, and get to know us over the web. It was awesome and not expensive. I would recommend investing in the 2 webcams and sending one to the foster home. he got to know us and then the foster mom flew him to us. we were willing to drive and get him but the foster mom enjoys helping them ytansition. she stayed for 4 days in a hotel at night and our house during the day! if anyone wants more info, [please email me!!!I

We have always had college students live with us in the summers while they were working at our church as interns. I teach high school, so our first foster child was introduced to us through a fellow teacher who knew of the need. We are talking about adoption with him. A chance meeting introduced me to our second foster who knew our first. She was in a group home and asked if she could come live with us after she discovered I was a foster parent. However, I turned her down due to some lifestyle choices she had made that I couldn't live with in my home. Months later her sw phoned asking if we would reconsider. She said her lifestyle had changed. We believed her, and she lived with us for several months. Now we have an 18 year old from my school who cannot live at home. She goes to college in a few months. The second foster child was very open about living with us and also a well known student. As a result, most of the staff and many students at my school know I am a foster parent although I am pretty quiet about it. I don't know that it is a good idea for so many to know, but it can't helped. We wonder what will happen next!

Wow, great thread. I was wondering the same thing as the initial poster....thanks for asking. It all seems pretty varied. J.Ro

My family met our adoptive son through my sister-in-law, who adopted a daughter from foster care (nj) and takes in emergency cases for the Div. of Youth and Family Services (DYFS). My home is the site of the family Thanksgiving dinners, and on Thanksgiving 2000, my sister in law brought with her a sibling pair (12 and 10 at the time) who were literally left at the DYFS office 2 days before. My sister in law was told they would only be placed with her temporarily, and they would probably be separated later. As time went on, the boys would come to my house and play with my biological son (10) and my nephew (11); so we got to see them every weekend. My wife asked me one day if I worried about what would happen to the boys, and I told her I thought about them every day. We decided then to take the foster care classes and become foster parents so they could be placed in our home. The boys were placed with us in April 2001. The hearing to adopt the oldest child (now 14) is on August 21; we are still thinking about adopting the youger child. :)