need advice about a touchy subject

Tam, for medical reasons we had to have my son circumcised around age 8. The recovery was uncomfortable for him. The next few days were the worst, then he was pretty much back to being himself. I would say the younger the better. Should you choose to do this soon - here is some advise that worked well for my sister. Her daughter came home at 11 1/2 months old. She needed hernia surgery which was done within a few months of being home. My sister made sure that she was only a comforter and not a provider of any pain. If my niece needed to be held for a medical procedure, she had a nurse hold her while my sister comforted. Good luck, DimasMom

Tam, normally all I do on these boards is lurk, but I feel I must strongly discourage you from circumcising your new son. First there is no medical reason except in very rare cases, but in most cases there are other treatments available. Second the circumcision that is performed today is not the same type performed by Abraham in the bible. I took this excerpt from the following site [url]http://circumcision.org/question.htm[/url] Originally only the tip of the foreskin was cut, called milah. This practice lasted about 2000 years. During the Hellenistic period, many young Jews concealed their circumcision by drawing their foreskins forward. The rabbis of the time decided to change the requirements of the procedure so that a circumcised male could not possibly be altered to appear uncircumcised. This was the start of periah, removing the entire foreskin. (more information on changing procedure) By going to this site you will also find out many Jewish people do not circumcise, some of them live in places such as South America, Europe, and Israel. And lastly, my most important reason, I do not believe the risks are worth it. I will not name them, but you can go to this site [url]http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/.[/url] That site will also provide a link to the complication statistics. If you still wish to perform the circumcision I would encourage you to watch an actual circumcision. The sites below have information on how you can obtain a video and many more important issues associated with circumcision. Please take your time and at least research the subject; I used to feel the same way till by chance I came across this information. Dont make a decision you, and unfortunately your son, may regret. I know this must seem gloomy, but I do wish good luck to you, and I wish you the best. I hope you and your son have many happy times. [url]http://faculty.washington.edu/gcd/DOC/[/url] [url]http://www.noharmm.org/[/url] [url]http://www.nocirc.org/[/url]

I think that what you wish to do to claim your son is just fine. Claiming and making your child a real part of the family is an important step. I agree with Dimas Mom and you should be sure you are present through out the procedure and recovery...24/7. Let the nursing staff or Moil (spelling?) take care of the actual procedures. You provide comfort, love, support. I also would not go into much advance description so that your son does not get anxious before hand. You can explain it the day of the event. You should also explain that this was done for Dad too. Best wishes

We have been home six months now with our 4-year-old adopted son from Russia. After three months, we took him to get circumsized. We, also, got mixed responses to this procedure, but decided to continue. We found our experience to be a good one. The nurses babied him and he was excited to dress in the hospital clothes and wear a hat just like the doctors had. We did not explain in detail, we just tried to prepare him for what was coming next and that mommy would not leave him. Afterwards, he was sore, but liked getting all the attention. He only asked for medicine (Tylenol) for the first day or two, then he would tell me it did not hurt, but I knew he was still uncomfortable. After the healing process, he was excited to show "it off", because we explained to him that now it looked just like his big brother and dad's. I think he liked feeling like a part of the family in this way. I pray that your child has a wonderful staff of nurses and doctors to make the experience a good one for you. Even now, three months later, when we pass the hospital, he points to it and remembers it in a good way. (they gave him popsicles, snacks and let him watch Blues Clues). God Bless!

thanks for the comments. It's great to hear from you Becky, having been through the same thing. I'm glad the experience was positive for both you and your son. I'm going to get in touch with a pediatric urologist who works out of our children's hospital, and see if I can schedule the procedure within the next few months. Tam

Dear Tam, I think you are on the right track and will feel evern better about your decision as you move forward. Best of luck

we are a family who does not circumsize. I would advise against having this procedure done, if only because of the risks to attachment that might occur.

There are not risks or threats to attachment caused by being circumsized. There is absolutely no literature in the professional peer-reviewed journals to suggest such a thing. In all my years of practice (25) I've not seen or heard of any such issue or case. I think, Tam, you can rest assured that you do not have anything, on this front, to be concerned about

... and I don't think anyone should feel guilty or feel like they are a bad parent for choosing circumcision for their child. It is a very individual decision and I would support a parent either way. Like many, I am a parent who was not going to circumcise my child. However after several UTI's (one of which landed him in the hospital for 3 days) and the only probably cause being that he was uncircumcised - I agreed. My son has not had a UTI since. My child has now recovered from reactive attachment disorder. He was still RAD at the time this procedure was done. Yes he had discomfort for a few days. It in no way triggered a rad episode. He actually let me nurture and cuddle him. I'm not saying go out and have medical procedures done to take advantage of the bonding opportunities it presents - but I've seen this with several rad kids. On one board a parent posted of her child coping with kidney failure. She was quite ill and likely to die. This child with attachment disorder, for the first time, let her mom nurture and care for her. I never did hear anymore, so don't know the end to this story - but share it because it highlights how times of pain and suffering may actually offer therapeutic opportunities. Tam, you are the Mom. Whatever you decide, it will be right for your child. DimasMom