post adoption depression

Hello everyone, I was reading the archived post regarding post adoption depression and think that it is a very important, yet scary issue. It is scary to think about, let alone admit. In terms of post partum depression, we do not find a lot of scoietal support or understanding and the issues of post adoption depression are all the more complex. Adoption: the hurry up and wait process which leaves one feeling exhausted, excited and emotional. Once the baby arrives, one can add a great deal of pressure onto oneself to be a "perfect parent". This pressure can stem from one's fantasies of parenthood or extra pressure to be perfect because of the adoption process. I would go so far as to state that post adoption depression is a natural occurance, one which can happen to everyone in different levels. It is possible to struggle with severe depression after adoption, even if one has not previously struggled with such depression. Some thoughts: First step is to understand that it is a possibility and that is o.k. It does not mean that the depression will last forever or that you will be unable to bond with your child. The depression is telling us something, either exhaustion, unresolved issue prior to the baby's arrival, you need some help or whatever. The depression will feel worse due to lack of sleep, fatigue, emotional let down and isolation. But it will get better. (If not, then professional assistance is available either medical or psychological). The emotional let down, is also a natural occurance. There has been a huge build-up to the arrival of the baby and possibly a lot of let down has occured prior. There can be a rush when you get the referral which can last through the time you return home. At this point, reality has set in and it is natural that one will start questioning one's self. Please understand that this is also a part of the process. You are not alone. Lastly, it is essential to be good to yourself. If possible, plan to make your life as easy as possible during the adjustment period (at least the first month). All of your energy and time is being spent getting to know your child and defining yourself as a parent. The Dishes Can Wait!! Order Out!! Ask For Help! This posting is meant to "normalize" the issue of post adoption depression and to say that it is o.k. to admit. You are still a good person and a good parent. What are some of your experiences in this area and what worked for you? Cindy Hill-Ford