Letter writting woes....

Talk about Liam's character - how is he as a person right now? Also share how he's changed your life, world view, etc. If indeed this might be a 'time capsule' or journal that Liam may look back on later, work to give him a sense of who he is and how he's changed your world. Describe him as you'd tell anyone about him. For instance, "Liam's a real fireball - takes no prisoners. God help us if his bottle is 5 minutes late, he will let us know he is not pleased. He also is quick to laugh and laughs long. I wonder how the world will react when Liam starts taking charge. I imagine one day he'll be president of his preschool class and be petitioning for better afternoon snacks." Just some thoughts. HTH Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

These are the questions I begged of my son's adoptive mom, at about six months. What is his favorite toy? What is his favorite animal (they have a farm...pet might work too)? What color hair does he have, what's the texture? What color eyes does he have? What landmarks has he hit (teeth, crawling, etc)? What does he like to do? What does he dislike to do? What foods does he seem to like/dislike? What cute things has he done or have happened to him? Those are just for starters. If you hit all those subjects, try to add a sentance or two about them. "He has 2 teeth" could be "He has cut 2 teeth. We found them when he woke up screaching his lungs out in the middle of the night. They are the two middle ones on the bottom...we expect mroe any day now." If you've hit all the basic events, just try to add to them. Ress

Writing to someone you don't know well would be difficult. But as a birthmother, here are some things I would like to hear about: I gather that your son is still an infant, so there's not much to write about in terms of his schooling or interests, but the birthmom would probably be interested in hearing about how your baby fits into the structure of your family. Does he have aunties or uncles or friends or neighbors that adore him? Was there a funny or special moment that happened that involved your child? Describe his nursery or the color of his hair or what his daily schedule is. Let the bmom know that you love him. In other words, send that message loud and clear that your baby is well cared for and loved. Also, I would not mention in the letter about her not picking up her Christmas picture/letter. That is her business. You agreed to write the letters...it's up to her to pick them up. I wouldn't even address that part.

At the start of my letter writing over seven years ago, I too found it hard to know what to say. As my son, his brother and now their sister have gotten older it has become easier. As they get older and do more and go more places etc. I have more to say. I have always included developmental milestones, likes, dislikes, mannerisms, trips, now acedemics and sports. I recently found out that no one has ever picked up a single letter, and there have been many, over the years. At first, I was devestated for the boys (We have a more open realationship with our daughter's birth mom). Did't we agree on these letters and hundreds of pictures over the years? How could they NOT want to know about these wonderful children? After a few months to mull this over, I have decided that it is most likely very painful for the birthparents at this point to have this information, or that they are in a life situation where for some reason they have been unable to pick the letters up. Anyway, I decided that we made a promise to send letters and pictures and I will continue to do so until each child turns 18. Perhaps at some point they will check to see and will have a chronical of our sons entire lives. If not, then at least my boys know that we honored our promise and that promises like that are not to be broken for any reason. Good luck with those letters! Becky

Hopefully his bmom will pick up the letters!!!!! You are great to still do your part, even though the last ones have not been picked up yet!!!! I agree with Becky that it could just be to painful right now for her!!! In time she will cherish the things you have written her as will Liam!!! I would also write to her the things you had done together has a family over the past year. Trips to the zoo, parks, and other fun things you have done with him. Share some of the opportunities he has had such as vacations, amusement parks, and etc. Let her know his reactions to these things. As a bmom it has been really cool to see some of the things my bdaughter got to do that I surely could not have done for her at 16!!!! Hope this helps!!! :D S Pete

as i just posted on another thread, make a print of his hand or foot, enclose a lock of his hair (if there is some to cut at this point). even if they don't pick up the letters right now, they may in the future.