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this is my first post on this site and i'm kinda confused about where to put a message. but i just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and say my sister got pregnant last summer when she was 18 with her current boyfriend. she is lucky enough to have a guy in her life that stayed all nine months and after. when i found out i was shocked. i didn't know whether to hate her, be disappointed, or what to think. the week i found out i had to go to camp so i didn't have time talk about the whole issue with anyone. i was left to think about it on my own. that didn't help me much. after a while the shock started to wear off. but then a month before the baby was supose to be born, went into labor which turned out to be a false alarm. but what we also found out was my sister carried a disease that made if the baby wasn't born soon enough it would get sick and not have much of a chance at life. i say 'it' because my sister and her boyfriend didn't want to know what gender the child was. at this point i was worried sick. my parents never explained anything to me when i asked and never included me in any discussions. at this point i was very depressed at home and at school. someone had found out my sister and told everyone so i had people making fun of me and asking about it. i would fall into tears when people asked and then it seemed all the subjects in school were about babies. my sister and her boyfriend were still looking for an adoptive family and found a wonderful family in Canada. my sister and her boyfriend both play ice hockey and are very athletic. this family had ice hockey experience from the father and he was a refery so sunshine(sister's boyfriend's nickname) and the adoptive father sort of new eachother since they both reffed ice hockey. then the baby was born. a gorgeous baby boy, a BIG baby boy weighing almost 9 pounds! my sister and sunshine were having a hard time and started thinking about keeping the baby. but they knew giving the baby a stable family that already had one other adoptive child (with the same name as me!) was the best choice. i was there at the hospital the day they thought of keeping Nick(the baby). i was told to wait in the area where you could see the babies behind the window. 10 minutes later Nick was put up next to the window. i had to sit down and cry. i got up several times and cried my eyes out. i couldn't imagine leaving this beautiful baby. i was an aunt at 14. younger then i expected i would be. i went to school and couldn't concentrate anymore. i wanted Nick back. my sister and sunshine went on zoloft. i cried myself to sleep for the next 2 moths. my sister, sunshine, and my mom went to go visit Nick and his adoptive parents. they were there for a weekend to see him baptised. i wasn't allowed to go. i was left at home wondering what he looked like, how his family was treating him. none of my friends undertood then or understand now what i have and am going through. but the family is the best. Nick will always now about us and we are allowed to visit and they send us updates, pictures, and videos of him. it's a nice feeling knowing that he's safe and will grow up well. Nick is now 4 months old. i just wanted to share my story with everyone. thank you for reading.
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Hi Hun,
You and your sister are very strong. I understand I too gave up a baby at 18, that was 6 years ago. I envy your sister for having a guy around the whole time, I barely got the whole sentance "I'm pregnant" out before Zach's (my birth son) biological father took off. If you or your sister ever want to chat I would LOVE to! I know what it'slike to need some suppport or just to blow off some steam or to share happy thoughts.
You can reach me at amber_grundman@hotmail.com
Amber
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Hi,
My name is Heather, and I'm an adoptive mom. As an adoptive mother, I wish my daughter's birth family wanted the involvement you want. If they do, they have not expressed it to me. Is there a way you can contact the afamily? They may be very open to having you be part of the visits. It's not fair of your family to leave you out of this process. Is there some adult you feel comfortable talking about this with? Maybe they can help you discuss your feelings with your family. I would love to hear how you are doing. God's blessings!
Heather
Dear Kid flyer,
I am a birth mom to a wonderful baby as well. Adoption is a process that hurts not just the parents but the families as too. I was young and knew that I wouldn't be able to give them the life he needed. My youngest brother was 5 at the time and didn't understand why the baby could not stay. He was there at the birth because I felt that it was important for him to know that the baby was ok and that they were going to go to a good family. As for my other siblings they were all in high shool at the time and treated much like you were. I still have another family member who will not speak to me which makes me very sad that I lost a relationship with that person who I love. Ultimatly what matters most is the life that the child will have. Time will heal the pain and your peers will grow up and realize what truely matters.
The process of adoption has a way of opening the eyes of those around and maturing you above your peers because things that were important to you before become silly after. I guess what I am trying to say is that they don't understand in a way they never will unless they are ever directly faced with the situation or have children of thier own. Remember that your sister gave a wonderful gift to a family that they could not give themselves. You all are truely blessed from the situation. Your nephew will always know that he has two wonderful families who both greatly love him.
I wish the best for you and your family! Remeber to keep your head up you are a wonderful person! Most importantly smile it is amazing how much theropy a little smile can be. It may sound silly but it will make your day go better! Lots of love!
a little more them a year and a hlaf ago,i put my twins up for adoption.thier bdad had died,and i dint think i could take care of them,so teo frineds of mine adopted them.soon after that,their adoptive mom died,and thier dad moved to ny(where we live now)becuase his job transferred him.well,now im dating the adoptive dad,and jack and jackie(the twins)call us mommy and daddy.they know that thier bfather went to heaven and became an angel)thats what we told them)and they know im their bmom.i hope your sister is well,and doing ok.