Help, we do not wish to contact birth father

Mark, It saddens us to read your post and we understand your situation. We are going through something of the same thing with our international adoption but we have TWO FATHERS, sort of, that could very well request to adopt the little girl we're hoping and trying to adopt..... While I cannot give you any specific information regarding whom to contact that could help you, we just wanted to let you know that we will keep you and your wife and your son in our prayers.... Please keep us posted.... Blessings to you and your family, Melody and Peter

Mark, Is there really such a high chance that he will see an ad? How long does it have to run, and does there have to be any other type of legal contact/notification? Or are you afraid to advertise because he will see your address? I believe if that is the case, the court will use the court's address. I'm not sure about all these things, but there is a legal forum on here that may also help you/answer your questions. Sincerely,

If you know where he is living, I believe you have to send him notification. If you publish and say that his whereabouts are unknown, but all along you knew where he was living or how to contact him, then that would be fraud. If it were me, I would speak to a lawyer and then send the appropriate paperwork to the bio-father. If he does not want to sign, my next step would be to file for child support. Since he sounds like a dead-beat, he will probably want to sign to save from paying money. Just make sure whatever you do, keep it 100% legal! Do not try to take shortcuts, it could cost you a lot more emotionally later on! Good luck, Tammi

I am going through the same thing so i completely understand. I have a 13 year old step-daughter. I have no other kids. I have been with her mother for 2 years. We don't want anything to do with the SPERM donor. He is nowhere to be found. His brother lives in the next town and will not tell us where he is. His mother lives north of us and does the same thing. And when he is in contact with us all he wants to do is take the mother of the child to a hotel room and ****. And he refuses to pay child support of $135.00 a week and he is 13 years and 10 months behind. He will not get a job to pay taxes. He won't even file for income taxes because it will come to us.What can I do to make this and easy transition?

yes, you do want to be sure you do this legally. There are actually cases where a step-father or nont biological fathers, has been forced to pay support for a child that has only known him as a father...I forget what they call it but there is a legal foundation for it...and if it works that way I would think it should work the other way. Parents who are in prision have their child support suspended so asking for support might just cost money to get no place...especially if he is that bad he will likely be right back in prision soon. If the father has had no relationship it seems that you might just need to jump through the hoops....adoption of anykind has a lot of paperwork and it is all painful, long and scary. Who knows this might be a sperm donor who has no interest in being a father especially if he is in fear of support and all that stuff... I don't think there is a state that can terminate parental rights without some kind of process you would rather not deal with....:( Have you contacted social services and asked if they have anyway to help you....I mean if he is this bad it would be for the safety of your son and in his best interest if the bio father's parental rights were terminated....he does not get to decide in that case, he would instead have to prove himself to be a suitable person just for the right to visit? Good luck.