finding my son

Hi Shannon, Although I am not going to be any help, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My son was also born in June of 86 and I keep asking myself when can I start looking ? Can I ? Dare I ?I am glad there are people like you that make me feel like it is not to early. I would have started looking in 86 if I could of now I keep thinking how do i start where do i start - do i dare to start ? I just wanted to say good luck and please if you think about it let us know how your search goes. My Best Clmsie

There are TONS of search angels that are willing to help both of you find your children. Birthdates would greatly help. Places of birth??? I am a search angel (canada) but do help occasionally a few people in the States, three of the adoptee's I am helping are male born in the States and in the year 1986...Birthdates please Hugs Melissa

my son was born on 3/28/1986 in canton ohio in stark county at aultman hospital his name at birth was anthony michael fagan...i appreciate your help so much...thank you shannon fagan

Hi Melissa, My son was born on June 11, 1986 in Portland Maine. I named him Joseph at birth but from what I understand his parents had the right to change his given name. He was born at what was at the time the Osteopathic Hospital but now is called Brighton Medical Center. The attending Doctor was Lois Hansen. My son weighed 8 pounds 14 ounces and was born with a cleft lip. At the time of my pregnancy I was living at St Andres group home in Biddeford Maine, that was the agency I delt with for the adoption. So much useless information I know - It is scary to search with the thought of rejection but then again you will never know if you don't -- Right ? I have 2 sons now and have been married for many years but there is always a spot that no one can fill a void.... I wish someone would have explained to me back then that yes this is a life decision but it's not only that it will alter they was you make every decision for the rest of your life, his birthday will never just be a date it will be a special day just for him in your eyes, holidays will always have some sort of hope yet sadness -- they forget to tell you these things. All though I believe he has great parents now if I would have had any idea of what today would be back then well maybe today would have been different. Why don't they say before you sign the papers--- of course we will be there for you ....until you put down the pen because that seems to be just what happend. I was told I would get updates... I have not for some years now and when I call the agency they make me feel like I am putting them out and guess what it does nothing so why do I bother. I am sorry to vent. I understand my son has a life now and a family he loves and who love him..... but then there is me, I have a family I love and a pain that can not be soothed by any one but my son. So I live with the fact that that pain may be here for the rest of my life and that is something I have to live with but I can also hope that someday the emptiness and the pain have been taken away. Thank You for listening. Clmsie-

I was so excited when I read these postings...I to am looking for my daughter that was born May of 1996. I was really glad to see that there were others out there like me. I have been waiting until the day she turns 18 to find her. I do not know what to do except register with the adoption.com and others to get my name and info out there for her to find. If you have other suggestions that would be great. Thinking of you Kelly

Hello, Don't give up ladies, just find all the adoption sites you can and post your info there. Like somebody said earlier, there are search angels all over the place and they will help you along. Most are doing this for free because they are what the name says they are....ANGELS! Don't give up because the help is there and when you least expect it, you will find some info you never thought you would get right in front of you. Michaeleen Birthmother to Ryan

my son was born march 20, 1986. i am anxiously awaiting any news. i am desperately hoping he will look for me also. i don't know where to start. i have entered my info in the registry, but he won't be 18 for a couple weeks yet. any advice from anyone would be welcomed. it's a relief to see that there are others out there in the same place as me. when i had him i thought i was the only person who would make such a heart-wrenching decision. girls were starting to keep thier babies more frequently. anyway, thank you.

Shelli, Welcome to the site....looks like its your first post! I owe alot to a man name peter and a man named bob who used to come to this site. They both wrote me letters when I first had signed up as a member here and they emailed me privately and asked for my situation and how I was touched by adioption so that other people could help me here. That was maybe possibly three or four months ago if that. I began talking online here with several other adoptees and birthmothers and learned alot. Then out of nowhere....people were running into info on my son for me and emailing me with it. Well last week Shelli....I talked to my birhson for first time! There are wonderful women and men here that have hearts as big as Texas and wiling to help at anytime they are needed. My sons name is Ryan Christopher Ecklund and he will be 21 in October ...I am so excited to get to see that wonderful man next weekend for the first time in all these years. Keep posting your info and sometime you too will find who you are reacing out to. I wish you the best of luck in your search here and hope it brings you needed peace as it has brought me mine. Good Luck and best wishes in your search . Michaeleen Wilson...Mother to RYAN, AMANDA, CODY AND MY TWO DOGS ....COLBY AND BUSTER AND FIANCE DAN.

I was very young when i became pregnant so i knew that i wasn't old enough to take care of a child i was only 13 myself. She was born on Feb 2, 1986 and i have thought about her every day. She just recently turned 18 and now i'm am so excited at the chance of getting to know her. My biggest fear is that she will hate me for not keeping her and she isn't looking for me. I pray that she is looking. I have a daughter and 3 sons that would love to meet her also. I have always told my children about her. I just hope that everything works out for everyone.

I am here to tell you that after speaking to my birthson for the first time last week since the day I gave him up 20 yrs ago, I know the fears you have. I had those too. That was one of the first things that I said to him when we first spoke, I said please tell me you don't hate me! It didn't matter to him what his life was like, he said he could never hate me and that would never enter his mind to feel that. He then told me " I love you Mom". I freaked out the past couple of days because I didn't hear from he like I had been. When I saw him online, I told him I was worried and wondered if I had reason to be. He then said, tell me what you are worried about and thats probably it. I told him I was worried he didn't want contact and that he didnt want to meet me like we planned soon. He said of course not....of course I still want to be in your life! You see, adoptees fear being rejected...but birthmothers do also. I have to have more faith in this son of mine because even though I didn't raise him, I am seeing in this short time that he has alot of my qualities....and thats loyalty to those he loves. I am proud to call him my son. You will find your child and trust me, your child will understand your reasons. At 13 you can't and don't know how to parent. They will understand that and thank you for giving them life. Thats what my son did. Good luck to you in your search! Michaeleen

I placed a baby boy in *1981--It was a "closed adoption" and I registered with the on line registeries but thinking boys are usually older than girls if they look for their birth parents. My son, being born 10-01-81 was/is a Libra so I knew balance was important to him but I was surprised when he called when he was 20.. I honestly expected him to be older when he looked me up. I have always heard boys are older when they look up their birth families. I hope it is soon for you-he deserves to meet you...Good luck to you!

Hello, Thank you for your reply. I have to believe we will meet very soon, he just has quite a bit unbalanced things in his life right now and I know he is searching for that stability in alot of different directions . I am so happy that we have found each other now before anything else in our lives happens. Its amazing the man he has become at such a young age. I am already so impressed but number one impressed with the heart he has. You know over the years as birthmothers we get all kinds of thoughts in our heads about what the child may feel towards us such as anger or resentment or both in addition to other problems. Ryan has shown me nothing but love and respect and admiration for what I have done for him as far giving him up for adoption. I already feel a completeness about myself that I have never felt before and enjoy this feeling intensly. Love knows no boundaries, I hope we all uderstand that and give each other some the important gifts that my son has given me after all these years; its been so wonderful to be welcomed! I have beat myself up most of the time for giving him up and now I don't do that anymore. He understands why I did what I did no matter what and he knows how I feel for him now. Do you and your son have a good relationship now??? I am hoping things dont stop now because I wish to have him in my life forever...he is so special! Best wishes everyone! Michaeleen Birthmother to Ryan 10*9*1983 Found 2*21*04

Whats Your Sons Bday? Where Was He Born??

he was born 7/14/89 at west houston medical center in houston, tx