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My husband and I are in the very beginning stages of adoption. While exploring our options, I started putting together a checklist of things we would need, and costs involved. I contacted a local agency that does homestudies and asked them what would be required for our homestudy. Here is what she told me: 2 Certified Copies of our Marriage Certificate 1 Certified copy of each or our Birth Certificate 3 Previous years IRS returns (02, 01, 00) 3 Letters of reference from family members (at least one from each side) 3 Letters of reference from local family friends (must be willing to be interviewed) 3 Letters of reference from family friends in the previous state we lived in, they must also still reside in that state I was doing ok until the lady talked about the referencesŅ First, I dont have any parents҅or any family for that matterwhen I told the lady that, she said, œWell, then you wont be able to adopt in Illinois. I think she is full of itԅbut I just want to know what other agencies require regarding a family reference. My husbands family would write a reference for us in a minutebut according to this lady, I have to have one from my family as well. Secondly, we are homebodies. We are just fine sitting home watching TV, or playing video gamesŅor even surfing the net. We dont have a huge group of friends҅so I was a little surprised to see that in addition to the three family references, we had to have three local friend references. We have a number of long term friends...all over the US, and in some cases, the world. This seems a little odd that they would want three local... To add insult to injury, because we have only lived in Illinois for two years, we have to have an additional three references from friends in the previous state where we livednot only that, they have to STILL LIVE THERE. I tried to explain to the lady that my husband was a Marine, and the likelihood of us being able to provide even ONE reference from anyone still living in North Carolina was slim to none. I told her that I knew of two people that would be willing to write a reference for us, but they had been PCSŒd to California. I also knew at least one person in Okinawa, Japan that would write a letter for us, but this wasnt good enough. Why do they have to still live in the state? Is there no provision for military families? According to the lady on the phone, the fact that I cant provide a reference from a relative on my side of the family knocks us out of the boat҅the rest is just icing on the cake. WHY do they need NINE references? I just do NOT understand this. Is this a statewide thing? The lady on the phone lead me to believe that I will run into this no matter what agency I use for the homestudy. Any other Illinois families out there that can give me some adviceor at least give me some input on what was required of you!? I am in the far west suburbs, but will be moving to Dekalb County by the time the homestudy will be done. Suggestions/Advice GREATLY appreciated :)
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Holy crap Brandy! We had to provide THREE references that were NOT family! I can't believe you have to do nine of them!! One of my references was from an out of state person. Our former pastor who had moved. I don't know if Illinois has more ridiculous rules than our state or if the woman is just being nasty. I can't see how she could say you can't adopt because you don't have parents! That doesn't even begin to make sense. I would definately check around and see what the rules and reg's are for Illinois because that all sounds pretty suspect to me.
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I dont think that it was so much that I didnҒt have parentsit was that I had NO family at allŅno one to provide a long term letter of good standing I guess. I almost PASSED OUT when she said all that stuff I find it hard to believe that we would be required to provide all of thatŅWhat if I had been single? I would still have to provide three? PLUS six others!? I hope I hear from some other local peopleI just cant believe that this is the norm!
Brandy, That lady is leading you on. I live in Illinois and we needed three non related references. Thats it. No IRS returns, no marrige/birth certificates. Is this private or through the state? I think I would find a different agency. I can't believe that she told you you could not adopt because you have no family. Thats a load of crap!!! Kris
I'm not in Illinois, but can chime in on why you need at least some *local* references. In a nutshell, the people who make it through their child's early years the easiest are usually the ones who have a local support system. People who can make you dinner when all of your family has the flu. Experienced parents you can call at 2 am when the child has red bumps who can come over and look at them and tell you whether they're an emergency or not. People next door who can pick the child up from daycare or school if there's an emergency. Etc. You'd get a second opinion from a different doctor if one told you something awful like the junk that lady said, right? So call another homestudy agency and get their requirements. This agency may just have talked you out of working with them! Good luck!
I agree - that's a LOT of references. We had to provide three, no distinction on whether it had to be friends or family members, or even if they were local or not. We're military too (DH was AD/USN when we adopted, now retired), no issue with that or whether we'd moved, etc. I'd find another agency - heck, find two and compare them for which you like best. Best of luck, Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas
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From [url]http://216.4.174.126/adopt_home_study.html[/url] -- it's a law firm's website Braselton & Millard One thing that prospective adoptive parents can do ahead of time is to assemble the necessary documents that will be required by the agency. A minimal list of required documents includes: "Certified copies of birth certificates for each applicant Certified copy of their marriage license, if the applicants are married Divorce decree, if either applicant was previously divorced Recent physical examination report and physician's statement of good health for each applicant Copies of psychological evaluations of applicants, if applicable Comprehensive list of all past employment for each applicant (your local Social Security office will provide this list for a nominal fee) Income tax returns for the past two years Past two years business income tax returns, if self-employed Employer's letter confirming current position, current salary and length of present employment 3 letters of recommendation from persons unrelated to the applicant(s) 6 names and addresses of personal references, unrelated to the applicant(s), who can be contacted directly by the agency to give a reference Records of any criminal convictions, if applicable" It doesn't say anything about where those people have to be from. My word, we had enough trouble coming up with three non relatives to begin with. Only one was local (we had lived here only about 4 years -- we had to know the person 3 years for them to be a reference) Having kids brings you in contact with more people, so if we had to do it again we'd have a bigger pool from which to draw, but still it would be hard to come up with more than 3. Maybe you should leave Illinois!:)
Nine seems a little high to me. We needed 3 friend references, they were more concerned with how long wed known them and what their impressions were of us when relating to children than WHERE they lived, and 1 family reference (combined, not each). IҒve seen some agencies that have requested as many as 5 but never 9. My BIL & SIL adopted in Illinois, I֒ll drop them an e-mail and see how many references they had to provide. Our agency also reserved to right to contact them for an interview, but didnt. Michelle Җ
I have no problem at all with them contacting our references. In fact, wed given this a lot of thought, and even talked to some of our perspective letter writers. I have three main concerns. One: The fact that they require a reference from someone on my side of the family. Two: That they require three local references Three: They require three references from people who still reside in the state we moved from. I have close friends I consider family, but no actual family. As for the local aspect, I just donҒt knowwe have one local friend, but I donŒt even know if I would feel comfortable asking him to write a letter. He is our if no one can be reached and my son needs to be picked up from schoolӔ person, as well as a coworker of my husbandsbut we arenŒt all that close. I am just stunned at the requirement for the out of state references. I dont know ANYONE that still lives in North Carolina. So, if this is a statewide thing, then we will be SOL. She did say that we wouldnҒt be required to provide them if we waited till we had lived in state for 5 yearsso, I guess if we had to, we could wait another three years. I have a birthday party this afternoon, so I canŒt make any calls todaybut I will tomorrow! Thanks everyone for the feedback! If anyone in Il (Chicago, Rockford, Dekalb areas) has an agency suggestion for homestudy, please let me know via PM!
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Brandy Agencies each have different requirements and as someone had said I would start looking for another one. I had to provide I believe it was a total of 8 or 9 references, but it could be made up of both family and friends and it really didn't matter how it was broken down. I had to get 4 reference letters I believe out of those 8 or 9. As to agencies who was it you were dealing with and what type of adoption are you pursuing.
Brandy if it's not Catholic Charities I would suggest them as they have both types of programs. Another is Evangelical I believe it is called in Wheaton. I have heard great things on both. I used Children's Home and Aid Society, but they don't have a domestic program just foster and international. Good luck with it all
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