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I am pretty happy! I received non-identifying information in the mail the other day about my birth family. It was really quite interesting! Now, they are starting to do the identifying search for my birthmother. I guess they are not able to identify or search for my birthfather, because legal paternity was not established.
I am really getting anxious about finding out more info! I think about this constantly and cannot get it out of my mind!
After reading about my birthmom, I know I am VERY much like her! Her appearance sounds identical to me!
I really hope I get to meet her someday. But if for some reason that is not a possibility, I will feel at peace just having the nonidentifying info anyway!
For now, I will wait and be patient! I never really realized how much it bothered me that I didnt know more info. But now that I do, I really do feel a lot better about my life! :flower:
mab, I'm very excited for you that you've received your non-id! I'm also adopted from WI, so I know the process. By the sound of your post, I'd assume that you're going through the state, is that right? I, too, was very happy to get the info from my non-id paperwork. Both of my bparents have been located, and I am just waiting for my bmom to decide if she's going to sign the affidavit to release both of their identifying info. My fingers are crossed!! I hope everything works out for you! Please keep me posted!!
Hi MySweetLucy, thanks for writing!! I started my search through the state and they forwarded my info to the adoption agency that did my adoption. I received a call from the search agent about 10 days ago and he said that he just got off the phone with my bmom, and she sounded VERY inclined to sign the affidavit to release her info to me! So, I have been going to the post office EVERY day to check the mail now! I am trying SO hard to be patient, but its hard! I have been having dreams about her and my bdad too. Legal paternity was not established, so unfortunately, I cannot get his info from the search agent...but hopefully my bmom will be able to give me his name. I dont know. This process is SO intense for me. I sit here and know that she is thinking about me, and she knows that I am thinking about her. Yet, we dont know eachother's names or know where the other person lives. Trying to be patient for that info is so hard. I am very excited and nervous and anxious!
Anyway, I hope you get to meet your bparents soon too! :)
Excited, nervous, and anxious probably just scratch the surface as to how you are feeling. I have a love/hate relationship with my mailbox, but for now, I know that nothing is coming. In your case, hopefully something is!! My bmom has told my CI that she could never deny me, but I think that she and I have very different ideas of denial. I have a hard time understanding why they don't sign the affidavit within what I think is a reasonable time, but I do understand that they have things to sort out as well. Was your CI able to tell you anything else about her? Do you know if she has any other children?
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I called my search agent today to see if my bmom has sent in the paperwork yet. It has been 2 weeks since the agent called me last, and that is the day he also sent bmom the paperwork. He still has not received the signed affidavit from her. I know its only been 2 weeks. But I am already losing my patience with this! I know I must be patient. Believe me, I am trying desperately to be patient during this time. But this whole thing is consuming my entire life! I think about it constantly. I dream about my bparents. I wake up and wonder if my bmom is thinking about me. I wonder every moment, if that paperwork is going to be in my mailbox the next day. Now, at least I know I dont have to go to the mailbox today or for awhile! :eek:
I seriously know that I need to take a deep breath and stop thinking about all of this and obsessing so much. Its not healthy!
Its just that I have waited for 30 years for this...and all of those years I have been so curious about it. But I finally had enough guts to start the search now.
I am also panicking a little about meeting her...or finding out more about her. Am I going to feel jealous of her other kids (if she has any, which I think she probably does). What kind of emotions will this bring about? I am truly scared.
I also need to stop looking at the non-id paperwork. I must have read all of that over hundreds of times now. I keep reading, looking for clues.
The only info I have, is that she was 17 when she had me, so she is either 47 or 48 now. From her description, she sounds EXACTLY like me. Her father has passed away, which is how the search agent actually found my bmom...from his death cert. He wanted her to have an abortion when she told him she was pregnant. The Alleged father also wanted her to have an abortion. But she did not want to do that, and decided to give me up instead.
I wonder about the alleged father too, and wonder if my bmom will be able to give me his info, or name. Since paternity was not legally established, I cannot get his info from my search agent, which sucks. Although, he probably has never thought about me before anyway...if he wanted an abortion. I really do not know.
I keep going through this identity crisis. My whole life, I have been this adopted girl. That is just who I was. When people asked about my medical history, I said "I dont know, I was adopted and dont have that info". I have always wondered who I look like. I have wondered MANY things about all of this, and now I might really get some answers.
But, why is she taking so long to get this paperwork back to the agent?! My husband says "because she is YOUR mom!". I am kind of a slacker sometimes! But, with this paperwork, I would probably have it in the mail...express mail right away! Whatever. I know I need to be patient!
Thanks for letting me ramble! I dont even know if anyone is reading this. But it really does help me to write, and get it out of my mind a little. I will keep you updated. I hope I get some info soon!
I just wanted to update. I finally did receive my birthmom's information in the mail. She agreed to release her info to me!!!! Her name is Michelle and she lives in Florida. I sent her a letter and some pictures, which she received today. I feel mixed emotions about it all. I am now trying really hard to be patient for her response. I hope she responds anyway. I would think she would respond, after I sent a 6 page letter to her and over 20 pictures! I wonder if she opened the envelope yet, and if she is looking at the pictures of me right now. I cannot stop obsessing about this, in fact its making my life miserable right now. I cant seem to do anything else, but think about this. I am really hoping for some closure with this soon...closure of the unknown, and beginning our new life of starting to get to know eachother. That is my dream....I hope!
I called her phone number today, fully not planning on talking to her, but hoping the answering maching would come on so I could hear her voice. And that is exactly what happened. I called twice. It was good to hear her voice. It was a strange thing though. After 30 years of never hearing my bmom's voice...to suddenly hearing it on an answering machine for the first time! That was strange!
Anyway, the ball is in her court now. I have such a hard time being patient with stuff like this. I want something in the mail RIGHT NOW! YIKES!