Advice Please

Mae - We did an adoption by private attorney. We are adoptive parents and it worked for us. What are your questions and concerns, what is it you want for your child, have you been to any kind of counseling? I am sure some of our amazing first parents will be on here with tons of questions for you I will think of some myself but I think getting the questions above answered with give you a starting point. But I truly feel that you need these answers from someone OTHER than the adoptive parents attorney. You need to know exactly what your rights are as the parents. How long you have to change your mind, what your process will be if you decide to sign instead of parent. Open / Semi / Closed? Visitation Scheduled Defined? Terms of that visitation? Calls / Visits (overnights ever?) / Pics all? Social Media? Important Events? Either way I wish you all the best. I'm going to send you 1000 hugs now because this is one hard road. C -

I would ask Adoptive Parents to Pay, for Legal Representation for Both Sides. How are your Medical Expenses going to be paid? What type of Adoption do ya'll want or desire?? When the child is older and desires to meet ya'll? What is the perspective?? Ditto, or I second what the previous Poster said also!!

We talked with the adoptive family about most of that so what would we need to talk to the attorney about?

Mae - You may want to post over in the birth mother's support forum. You'll get a huge list of things moms wish they had known about the system A word about your APs (i think APs are great! in fact, i am one) - They have a goal (to be parents). You are offering them that gift. Even the best, most honest, caring people will paint the bet possible picture in order to attain that goal Right now, they will offer you (almost anything) in order to meet their needs They don't yet know what they can live with over the next 18+ years A lawyer can tell you what your legal rights are. A lawyer can tell you how to protect yourself. A lawyer can inform you what you can do on that off chance, after seeing that bundle of joy, you decide to change your mind

I'm a first mom and adopted, just so you know where I'm coming from. Here's the thing: You need to talk to an attorney on your own. Sure these people sound fabulous, they want to be parents, they want your child. When humans want something they make themselves sound perfect, it's our nature right? Humans also usually have their own best interests at heart. Therefore, you need to have your best interests are heart, because no matter how wonderful they seem, you still have want they want. You may think you are set on adoption now, but after baby is born you are going to have remake your decision. Believe me, after baby is here, everything will You need to talk to an attorney and some of the suggestions wrking gave you are perfect. Are you in a state where open adoptions are legally enforceable? That is really important to find out. Do you understand that if you aren't, and you desire one, that after the adoption is final, you have no say in anything? Do you understand that if OA's are legally enforceable if the adoptive parents close an adoption it is on you to prove that it is in the best interest of the child to have an open adoption? Just a few things for you to think about.