Effect on Biological Children

We've been doing foster care for 5 years and I have 2 bio-boys ages 6 and 3. It has been a great experience for my kids, but I truly believe it depends on your children's personalities. There are a few things I have learned the hard way. I will not take any boys over the age of two now. Last year we had 3 foster boys ages 3, 2 and newborn and that was the longest year of my life. I think my 6 year old felt they were trying to replace him. Now we have two girls ages 9 and 1. My kids get along great with them. The nine year old and my six year old are best friends. Even after having the girls for close to a year, they rarely fight. I'm so pleased at how sensitive and caring my son is. His teacher is alway talking about his willingness to help others and how he is the only kid in the class who is friends with everyone. I truly believe this is because we have been foster parents. I would also suggest being very careful about the children you take. I will not take any child if I feel there is a chance of them being inappropriate with my kids. If I get a child who begins to show inappropriate or agressive behavior that I can't control, I don't ever feel bad about calling my worker and having the child removed from our home. Fortunately, this has only happened a couple of times. But my worker knows that I have to put my children and their physical safety and emotional health first. Finally, we make an effort to make sure our two kids understand that they are our birth children and they will always live with us and we will always take care of them. Of course we don't talk about this in front of our foster kids, but at times, I might sit in bed with my boys and remind them that they are my forever kids and nothing can ever change that. We also talk a lot about the fact that God wants us to help others and we do this by helping take care of kids when their families can't care for them. So far I believe that fostering has been a real blessing for us and our kids. Lisa