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I'm a 33 year old, adopted when I was 2 weeks old.
I just want you as bmums to know how I feel about mine, although we have never met (My name is on the reunion registry, but hers is not and I have not yet started an active search).
I am so incredibly grateful, from the depths of my heart, for the decision she made for me. It must have hurt so much to go through with the pregnancy and birth, knowing she would not see me again. I have so much respect for any woman who makes that decision. It is unselfish, kind and loving of you to do what you have done.
My amum always talked about my bmum as someone who loved me so much that she gave me up because she wanted the best for me. I've always loved her although I've never met her. My amum is and will always be my mum, but my bmum will always be an important and beloved person in my life, even if I never meet her.
Unless and until she decides she wants contact I can't tell her this, but I wanted to tell you who are going through the same experience - THANK YOU for your guts and your selflessness in doing this. :)
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Thank you for your beautiful post. I am a birthmom who three months ago reunited with my 21 year old daughter. I feel I have been given a second chance to know and love the daughter I could not raise. The love I have for my daughter is indescribable. I never knew that would be possible. Good luck with your continued search!
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Originally posted by kersey19
Thank you for your beautiful post. I am a birthmom who three months ago reunited with my 21 year old daughter. I feel I have been given a second chance to know and love the daughter I could not raise. The love I have for my daughter is indescribable. I never knew that would be possible. Good luck with your continued search!
My daughter searched for me. She worked with the agency that I used to place her for adoption. It's funny -- the same woman who coordinated the adoption also coordinated our reunion (21 years later).
That would be a great place to start. There is a moderator on this site -- the Search Guru -- who has all kinds of wonderful information regarding search and reunion. She is likely your best resource. Good luck.
Go to Reunite.com - they have a step by step list with lots of resources. Also go to the website of the state where the adoption took place. Most have a page re adoption reunion or records info. Lastly type in the "Texas search angels" or whatever state the adoption happened into a search engine. A list of people who help in your state will pop up.
Christine,
You have such a wonderful attitude & that is attributed to the angel that raised you. My 34 yr old son found me on Jan 31, 04. His AMom, my personal angel called to open the door for our son. He then called & we have spent the most incredible 88 days in our beginning... We are fortunate that he only lives 1 hr away...
I know that my son was overwhelmed at first by the intensity of my love but he has come to except this reality, otherwise he says he would take me to Hollywood... There is no way to say your search will end as wonderful as ours but you have to at least give it a try.
Best wishes to you & your AMom, it will work if all are involved.
Mary Ann
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Originally posted by catcanada
Unless and until she decides she wants contact I can't tell her this, but I wanted to tell you who are going through the same experience - THANK YOU for your guts and your selflessness in doing this. :)
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Originally posted by bromanchik
You know many birthmothers do not allow themselves to search because they are afraid to disrupt their children's lives. Do you know she does not want contact? You might want to find this out for yourself.
Here in BC there is a reunion registry. You can put yourself on the list without doing the active search. If my bmum was interested in meeting me, but didn't want to intrude on my life, she could put her name on the registry and the only way they would tell me about it is if I asked for it. My name is on the list in case she wants to contact me, but hers is not.
catcanada
I am so incredibly grateful, from the depths of my heart, for the decision she made for me. It must have hurt so much to go through with the pregnancy and birth, knowing she would not see me again. I have so much respect for any woman who makes that decision. It is unselfish, kind and loving of you to do what you have done.
My amum always talked about my bmum as someone who loved me so much that she gave me up because she wanted the best for me. I've always loved her although I've never met her. My amum is and will always be my mum, but my bmum will always be an important and beloved person in my life, even if I never meet her.
Unless and until she decides she wants contact I can't tell her this, but I wanted to tell you who are going through the same experience - THANK YOU for your guts and your selflessness in doing this.
__________________
Christine....:)
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Hi There-
I just wanted to say that what you wrote is very sweet! I am who I am today because I was given up for Adoption! Although my life was not easy growing up, I am thankful that my B-parents wanted what was best for me and gave me the opprotunity to have everything they did not. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!! Have a nice day my friend.
so beautiful!! I bet your birthmom would be extremely proud of the great young lady you have become. I agree, your bmom might be afraid to upset your life and is praying one day you will find her. I know I was. My birthdaughter recently found me on fb. I was THRILLED!! Unfortunately, she does not want a relationship at this time. I think she was just curious. I am feeling all the same emotions as the day I signed those papers- heartbroken. She will not respond to my messages. I am willing to bet the day you contact your bmom, will be the best day of her life.