what would you say ...

October 21, 2008

Our biggest challenge was with my dh's birth family, I think.

His bsister was...well...a hag. She was angry with him for not marrying in his heritage, but choosing me, a *gasp* 'white woman'. He has other uncles/cousins/etc that also disapprove, and have made comments about 'thats what happens when you're raised white' etc. We used to fight early in our marriage whenever his sister was around. She'd whisper in his ear about First Nations culture, and how I was disrespecting it, that I overstepped my place for being married to a First Nations man, etc. Meanwhile, my husband has no better idea of First Nations culture than I do, and his sister was just basically full of hooey, and trying to stir up trouble.

She also tried to convince him that we should give her a key to our home, as 'First Nations culture doesn't allow for locked door between family members!" Yeah, he didn't go for that.

Once my dh quit worrying about who his birth family said he should be, and started being who he is, our marital problems vanished.

Honestly, I'd say we've had more issues because of adoption than because of race.

I've also been on the receiving end of a fair bit of discrimination and horrid comments, by First Nations women that I don't know from Adam. Up to and including comments about our son being 'too white' and asking if my dh had asked about it. :hissy: Heck, my dh's afamily made all sorts of pointed comments, asking how our son was blonde and blue eyed, when dh is so dark. Uh, dh's father was a Swedish blonde, green eyed man, duh...but they kept it up anyways, until I asked if they'd like me to draw a Mendelian chart to explain simple human genetics and inheritance :grr: