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I think that you need to listen to your heart. I know that it has to be hard to be in that situation. I am on the other side of the spectrum though. Trust me all aspects of adoption are hard. I hope that you do what is right for you and your child.
I have days when I see the same commercials and just cry because I thought by this stage in my life I would have 2 children and not having to pour over adoption information and struggle with how I am going to find the money to adopt.
I am sorry I wish that I could be more help to you but I just thought that you should know that you are not alone in the pain.
If you ever need someone to listen to you here is my email address janieceowens@hotmail.com
I hope that you know that you are not alone.
I pray that you will find your way through this. Please listen to your heart and let it lead you where it may.
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I am glad you posted on this board.I feel the same way.We want so much to adopt.We never dreamed adoption would be so hard.We first applied at our social service office.We were devasted that their were no children to be adopted.I hung up the phone and tears just kept falling.Then we thought of international adoption but the fees are outrageous.We desperately try and save money but know it will take years to save.We are in our 30's and the dream of adoption is just that a dream.We pray so hard that one day God will send us an angel.We are going back to social services since they are now advertising for adoptive parents but honestly we try not to get out hopes up.Just recently we had a chance of a newborn who the biological mom was a heroin user,she was going to sign the baby over,but social services ended up with the baby.Our hearts were crushed.Looking on the internet of photos of babies in orphanages is very heartbreaking...to know only if we had $25,000.00 to $30,000.00 then we could take that baby home.Its extremely emotional.We could give a baby so much and most importantly we could give a child love.Adoption is a very emotional roller-coaster and we respect any biological mom who is courageous enough to put her babies needs above all! All aspects of adoption is not easy...but you always need to go with your heart and know what is right for you.
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