I'm confused about PMs

I want to preface this post by saying that this is in no way an attack on the administration of the forum, but rather a couple questions that I need clarification on before I do something to violate the TOS agreement and get in trouble. Although I just registered on the forum this month, I have been reading posts and keping up with certain threads since just after Christmas. I know there are many people who get banned because I see that in posts, but I am only familiar with two---Sharon and MissingLinkInFlorida---because I read (and still do) so many of their posts. I hAve also been reading a lot of Bromanchic's posts because they are, like I considered the other 2 banned member's posts to be, informative and helpful in my quest to find my brother. What I need clarification on is what EXACTLY constitutes the TOS violation in asking members to PM you? I understood a post by Brandy to say that under no terms is that permissible. I'm confused. Many times in a thread members are encouraging others to PM them. I am asking because I need to know if that is something I should never do. I don't want to freak anybody out and get barred from here. Earlier today, I asked MissyM to empty her box so I could PM her. Was that a violation? It seems that some questions might be too emotionally raw for the poster to share with the group at the moment, or maybe too personal---is it wrong in those cases to ask the person to PM? Or in the case when a question would take the thread off course, could I ask someone to PM me? How about just for chit-chat? What I am trying to understand is: What is the purpose of having PM access if all questions are to be dealt with in public view? I'm confused. Can someone please enlighten me before I get myself in trouble?:confused: Stevie :D