new to adoption process

Hi we to are jewish and have two biological children. We live here in California. You can choose to go through your state agency and the adoption is either a minimal cost or a very low cost. In our case our state offers free state adoptions. The process can be lengthy but the services are wonderful. We have choosen the state do to many reasons for one, these children seem to be overlooked, also the cost are low. With state ran agencies the birth mothers do not pick you the state social workers match your family to a child and then make a presentation to you, then you decide if that child is right for your family and you either accept or decline.I have heard people waiting a year here but it depends on issues your open to accepting , if you want a sibling group and so on. I think of it this way even if you were pregnant you would wait 9 months for your baby. so waiting 6-12 mos to me is very normal. If you choose to look for jewish adoption agencies you can look via internet. Here in California they have an adoption agency called Vista DelMar. My husband was adopted through this agency.What ever road you choose to take good luck and if you ever feel like talking you can email me anytime. Some birth moms maybe pulled back when it comes to judaism but I think that is just like any other faith, people tend to go to a familiar place and well thats a chance we take in adoption but honestly going through the state I am not worried as that being a factor maybe if it was a private agency I would be a little worried but because we are going through the state I am completely satisified and happy. Our process has been very pleasant. I wish you lots of luck and hope to hear from you again. Crissy

Hi - we also live in NJ and just went to a meeting with several agencies at the JCC in Cherry Hill. We have decided to adopt from Ukraine, since we want to adopt a child that might look like us and our grandparents are all from that area. There seem to be a lot of local agencies around south Jersey and Philly. We have chosen to use a NJ one for our home study and are deciding between 2 in philly for the rest of the process. The paperwork seems overwhelming and the cost will be a fortune, but at least with an agency, we will not be working alone. As far as international versus domestic - I've been told that there are less complications the birth families when the children come from out of the country. Please feel free to email me if you'd like the names of the agencies, or want to discuss anything else - like you, we are also just starting out... Ellen

Welcome. I'm Jewish, DH isn't but we have a Jewish home. We chose to adopt internationally (from India) for a variety of reasons, but particularly because there is more of a defined timeline in an international adoption because the children are already here and in need of parents. Certainly one of our concerns about adopting domestically was the wait for being chosen by a birth mother. I was worried (and I don't know if it was a legitimate worry or not) that Christian expectant parents wouldn't choose us because I was Jewish, and Jewish expectant parents wouldn't choose us because DH wasn't. And since my religion is important to me, I thought that athiests, agnostics and others also wouldn't be thrilled. However, I do know Jews who have adopted domestically, so it's not like it doesn't happen. But time was important for us, because we were almost 40. We didn't want to wait two years for a successful match. One other thing that made me very comfortable with adopting a child who didn't look like me was the high percentage of internationally adopted children who are members of my temple. Indeed, in my rural area, temple is often the most racially integrated place I go, other than adoption events. I'm pretty sure there's a Jewish Family Services in Philadelphia that does adoptions. As for money, many agencies have sliding scale fees. There's also a $10,000+ tax credit, meaning that when your adoption is final, the IRS will send you back the money you paid in income taxes (you can take the credit over 5 years). We got back $6,000 in withholding this year, and will take the remainder next year. Other people have taken out home equity loans, raised money through lawn sales and family members, taken second jobs, cut all but essential expenses etc....

We are an interfaith family raising our children as (Reformed) Jews. (I am Jewish, my husband is not.) We also have a bio-son who was 7 this past January. And then on 3/30 of this year our daughter was born and came home to us in a domestic, open, transracial adoption on 4/2. We expected our wait might be longer because of our Jewishness and the presence of our son but our daughter's birth mother chose us because of those two things! Our homestudy was completed last July and we matched twice. The first time, the mother decided to parent (that was in December) but the second time, we were able to bring our daughter home. Our wait was 9 months -- much less than other couples who entered the program at the same time we did but yes, longer than others in our classes. If you choose to pursue a domestic adoption, trust that the child meant to be yours will come to you. Good luck with your decisions! And feel free to private message me if you like. :) Dawn