To BRandon

My Dearest BRandon, I saw you the other day for the first time in a month. It wasn't for long but long enough for both of us to get in some much missed hugs and kisses. I wish you were old enough to understand I didn't leave you, you were taken away by a system that can't understand that I love you just as much as if you were my biological son. It's so hard to leave you there especially when you didn't want to let go of my neck because you didn't "want me to leave you again". I cried all the way home knowing you were going back to someone who doesn't deserve you. It hurts me to see you've lost weight and the color in your face is gone, your once bright smile has faded. I miss you everyday. I even miss your temper tantrums and the way you colored on your bedroom walls. I miss you singing in the car on the way to pick up the boys from school, reading you the same bedtime story five times before you'd go to sleep, how you would act like you were flying everytime we'd put your superman pajamas on. I miss everything about you being here in my life. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have a second chance to be your mother. I pray she does, but I also pray each day you'll come back to me. Maybe that's selfish of me to wish that, but I can't help remember the day she left how she didn't even cry not one tear then or since. All I can do is cry each time I wonder if you are getting enough love, have enough to eat, or if you ask for me. I wish you could understand I didn't want to leave you, I had no choice! That it's not your fault, you weren't bad or did anything wrong, and it's not because I don't love you anymore as she would have you think. I love you more than you could know. Stay safe and come home to me!