Recently gave my baby for adoption...

Hello Meg. I am also a birthmother and know what you mean about the pain not hitting yet. I placed my daughter in a closed adoption 13 years ago. I am part of a wonderful support groups for birthmothers, we have two members who have placed their children in the past two months. If you would like to PM me, I would be glad to send you in that direction. Take care! Amy

I am not a birthmom, but I am an adoptee, and the support you can find on this forum is great. I hope you find people who can help you through your ordeal. :)

While you must be in a lot of pain, I know from experience that the best way to begin to heal is to talk about what has happened. Especially with others who have been where you are. I hope you can find the support you need.

Hi...Im not a birthmother.Im an adoptee and an adoptive mother.I know that any loss is a grieving process.The first stage of grief is denial or shock,a period in which you may feel numb.You will begin to feel soon enough and I think it is wonderful that you posted.Adoption Forums provides such wonderful support.You are courageous in making the decision you did for your son. Stacie

Meg, I have belonged to an online support group for almost 4 years now. The moderator only lets birthmothers join. If youare interested just email me and I will get you the information. Brie

I am a bmom and I gave my little girl up to adoption when I just turned 20.When I was going thru this it was so hard to get thru the day. I couldn't picture my self or where my life was going to be in 6 months. It now has been a little over a yr. and a half.Boy time flew quick. Quicker than I ever would've imagined. When I was going thru it in the beginning I was just overwhelmed w/ stress ,emptiness, and depression. I don't think it hit me till a couple of months into the adoption. I have an open adoption and I think when the aparents started sending pics. of her w/them it started to hit me. It was really rough for me though because I gave her up about 2 1/2 wks. before Thanksgiving and then Christmas was right around the corner. So I was very hysterical. I think you came to the right place to talk to other bmoms here and there are a lot of websites out there too. If you need to talk or have any questions Please drop me a line. I hope everything goes well for you. Good Luck!!!! :D DEBRA

Hello Meg and welcome. I too am a brand new birth mother. My son was born on March 5th. I was pretty numb the first week too. However I have been crying off and on now. That is the nature of grief. However everyone grieves differently. Don't be afraid to let yourself feel when the time comes. You can find me at shelleyi2000@yahoo.com Shelley

I am 19 and my baby is 2 months old and I didn't have the chance to be numb I spent three nights with my daughter then handed her to her aparents. When the pain hits it will hit hard but I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves why we did it and pray that someday everything will be okay again. When the tears start just let it happen it is important to deal with this and I am having a hard time doing so, also. You can e-mail me if you want to talk. Elizabeth

I hope this board helps you. Everyone seems to be really great people. In my way of thinking, I think it's a good thing to focus on the fact you have given your child a better chance in life. You're brave for letting your son live warm and nurtured inside of you. You gave the gift of life to not only your son but his new parents. You let him live instead of being aborted. I truly respect you for that decision. Stay strong. You did the right thing!

My name is Stephanie and I also placed a baby up for adoption through Gladney. My birthdaughter is now 6 years old. I have a semi-open adoption with her parents and they send pictures and letters once a year. Do you still live in the Fort Worth area? I attend the monthly support meetings at Gladney on the last Tuesday of every month. Its a great help to me through the years. You should come sometime if you ever need to talk. You can always e-mail me anytime also.

Yes we have met. I was the one with long brown hair that has 2 children now since placing my birthdaughter. How are you doing? Good I hope. Are you back in AZ now?

PunkRawkPxer03, I am a birthmom. I was 19 when I gave my baby up for adoption. She turns 18 tomorrow. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of her. She is now going to be an adult and not only that, but I was 18 when I became pregnant. So, it is all hitting home. The numbness only lasts so long. This is the first time I am connecting with others who have gone through what I did. So, you are ahead of me hun. Just know that you aren't alone and we are here for you. PM me if you want. I now have a hubby of 17 years, not the bfather, and 2 boys. My life did go on. I haven't forgotten about her and there is a hole in my soul that only she can fill. My boys and my hubby have known about her all along. My boys can't wait to meet her some day. They are hoping she contacts us almost as much as me. They have love to share too. So, just know that although it seems like the end, life will go on. You did a very loving thing. The first few years I was in a daze. As the years went by I realized how much I needed to talk about her. So, talk and let it all out. It will help you in the long run. ~celticwolfie

Today is my b-son's 5th birthday! I gave him up when he was born, some days it seems like forever ago and other days it seems like just yesterday. It's a bumpy road to ride on for a while, but a road worth being traveled on in my experience. I love my son with every breath and beat of my heart, but if I had to do it over again I would! All the sleepless teary nights after it hit, sometimes holidays and birthdays-- Mother's day was kinda hard for me for a while too, but you get through it. It helps soo much to have people that you can relate and talk to. I did not have very many-but the ones I do have are the best. My husband, not my b-son's father, is the greatest person. He has been my rock more than he will probably ever know!! Even though he has not been through the whole process with me, he understands and is complelety supportive even when it's inconvenient. Sometimes getting pictures in the mail helps, in the beginning it was very hard to see them, but I looked at them anyways- I would show him off as if I still had him, put them away and wait for the next set to show up. Now when they show up I can't believe it's been that long. If you ever need someone else to talk to feel free to contact me, it always made me feel better when I had someone else to talk to, that had actually felt what I did! Good Luck with everything... :)