I want to care for teminally ill children

I think you must be a very special person to want to take on this task and I wish you all the best. I can't imagine getting attached to each child and then watching them die. I understand that some kids do not have the family to take care of them and if you are willing to do that it is amazing. I know you said you are aware of the stress of it but are you really? Have you truly thought about this and if you can mentally handle it? Do you have any children yourself?? Good luck Lisa

You will just need to contact social services in your state, go through the foster care classes and certification and request terminally ill children. They are there and in need of homes. Best wishes.

I will not know the extent of my abilities unless I peruse them with an open mind and accept the hardships invalved. Besides the death of my husband and the witnessing of others with in and out of my family, working in adult care facilities and adult home for the mentally impared, I have seen the pain on my current employer's children's faces and in their lives. I may be sounding VERY horrid, but I would feel so much more confident and sure if I had the knowledge the child will be going to Heaven opposed to going back to "parents" whom do not undrestand or wish or even care about the child's well being...emotional, spiritual, physical...yes there are those whom do "reform" and are able to regain their children's custody and i applaude them for their efforts and dedication...but I know there are babies out there whom need love and caring and support. As to your question, no my husband and I were never blessed with children of our own. Perhaps this is another possitive for caring for the ill takes 24/7 with out holidays off... :) I will not be so blinded as to believe this is a simple chore...but for me it is more a profound desire to care for ailing children. My choices are not easy ones to make, but I believe I have the support and spiritual readiness to try my best. I have and will appreciate any and all advice and direction.

You are most definately a very special person. Maybe this is Gods plan for you. I wish you the very best. Contact social services and they can lead you in the right direction. Lisa

Do contact the state and start the process of becoming certified. Being "called" to love the little babies is a very special gift and if you are called then the support will be there for you. You might also consider contacting Hospice or a local hospital and seeing if they have programs for families dealing with the death and dying of children. Often these families have not lost custody of their children--but have lost the will or ability to cope with or continue to meet the childs needs through no real fault of thier own... It is very terrible to experience the death of a child and some parents shut down during the last stages of death with thier child. There may also be privately funded programs for these families--who really cannot deal with it. Then again--if you are called to only care for those children who have No One then social services does have need for you. One of my aunts provides this kind of care---while others may simply not understand how anyone could cope--there are few people who are meant in their hearts to do this work... Having experienced the losses that you have I am sure that you have not come to this place without well considering your own emotions and ability to cope. God bless you for believing that you could be the warm arms in an otherwise cold night for a child dying....

I thought I mentioned this yesterday...I spoke to my employer's social worker last night and she told me they do not place terminal children and it was best for me to look for a privite agency who does such work. Any ideas?

Contact your local hospitals. You might also get in touch with HOSPICE and find out if your local group does any work with families who have children. HOSPICE ususlly provides services for people who have decided that they no longer will accept life saving treatments....and are ready to face death and dying. You may have some special cancer or AIDS treatment services in your area for children. Some of these kids do end up being placed into nursing homes where most of the other people are 90. Most cities have long term care centers for children who sill not be getting better but who need care. You might also find areas through private medical insurance progams that will pay for caregiving situations. Sadly there are many parents who do for some reason or another give up. Maybe they have five healthy children at home and they simply cannot continue. The neonatal wards are also a good place to see if you can be of help. Those babies often need love and touch before they pass and some of them hold on far beyond the parents ability to endure. Ronald McDonald House might also have families who have been suffering for beyond their ability and are desperate for help. I would imagine the greatest opportunities you are going to find will be working with the Private Insurance companies. Also the Scocial Security office usually has a Disabled department for qualified people needing assistance....and they may have contacts with families who need help dealing with a child. Personally, I see your hope in this venture might include also dealing with the grieving families to some point. You might have to accept that you will be involved to some degree with parents in these kinds of situations. Your hospitals may know of many families who are at the end of the rope and when we see a child dying sometimes the denial kicks in...sometimes the parents withdrawls and cannot endure any more. Maybe the Make A Wish foundation can also assist you in finding some families who are simply gone from the ability to continue. You are likely going to end up being paid by private insurance or by charities or some other social service system for the work you are able to offer. You might onsider contacting the health insurance companies and seeing where they may need you for families.... I precieve the job description you would actually be under as a caregiver more then as a Foster parent.... I think you hope is to be a comfort to a child at this time....there are going to be places where you will find this need--and the ability to do it because of funding in one way or another. You might be able to offer a place for a parent with a dying child to have respit and take a break form all that is going on. There are Special Foster Homes for medically frigile children. The certifications is more difficult and you may be able to provide foster care for families who simply are unable to care for a child every single day of the week.... Those families often have no medical insurance or other issues that make it impossible for them to care for a dying child....so they need to go to the sate for foster parent help.... I know where therre is a will to do this you will find children who need you. I am not sure you will find children without any other family to care.... at least a little anyway. It must be horrible to be a parent of a child who has no hope of a life that is long. There are also other 'chilldren' such as downs syndrom people who may live into thier late 20-30's but are really children in spirit and need someone like you. Downs syndrom is most common with older mothers---and therefore many of these people end up alone after thier parent dies....but yet they are still a child and when they start to suffer their dying process they are left in nursing homes. There are a number of genetic and other issues that lead to premature death with mental delays in the person. They might be in a 30 year old body with the heart of a 7 year old...to me they are children....maybe not to you?

Thank you for your suggestions. I will utilize as much as i can. I agree with you that there are many adults whom also need care due to their medical needs, for i have in the past worked at a home for mentally impared adults. i will never say i will not do it again, but the infant/child "size" is where i "feel the pull" at this time. I appreciate your cander (perhaps I should take a spelling class as well). keep up the advocate work.

I have been reading this thread with interest. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit. I wanted to clear up some misinformation regarding Down Syndrome. People with Down Syndrome have a normal life span - not into their 20s-30s as suggested. Many do suffer from heart defects which are now correctable at birth and with proper medical treatment, their life span is normal. The other statement that most babies are born to older mothers is not true. 80% of all babies with Down Syndrome are born to mothers in their 20s. The reason for this is that most birth's occur in mothers in their 20s. Although the odds of having a baby with Down Syndrome increase with age, a very small percentage of woman over 35 (nationwide) have babies and of those, 95% opt to abort babies with DS. Just thought I would let you all know for your own info. I run a local parent support group for parents of child with DS and have an 8 year-old with DS myself.

Thanks for the info on DS even if it seems to conflict I am sure there never is a complete 100% correct answer on some of those kinds of subjects....I am also pretty involved with the DS support groups here in my area and with Special Olympics and those are just some of the stats I have been given.... I unserstand many woman choose to abort but we have a group of Right to Life members in our community who do not choose to abort...most are in fact elder parents and most do need a great deal of assistance in making plans for the care of the DS child later in life when they pass.... I am sure with medical advances the health issues are better treated and the survival rate is higher....but I still have only met a handful of DS people over the age of 30. Right now a firends son is 26 and his health is becoming more difficult to manage everyday....I still think there is a place where a person interested in being helpful can help with families dealing with DS.

I was in no way trying to imply that there was not help to give. I am not sure how the information contradicts, but you could check out the information provided on the National Down Syndrome Society's webpage. I think we have a tendency to base information of our 'personal' experience, which can be so limited. I am glad you are active in your area and that some people are choosing not to abort babies with DS - but the truth of the matter is that 95-98% of parents with prenatal diagnoses do. It is very sad.

Oknew question. Right at this time I am thinking about œjust being an independent care provider ԓindependent nanny and going through the familiesԅas if they hired me as a nannybut my question is what about funding? Am I correct that many insurance companies wouldnŒt consider me fundable or reimburseӔ because I dont have the certificates? I am still not saying I wouldnҒt go for the little piece of paper, but if the pediatric specialist or other doctor sign my services as the families wish with alternative careӔ for their child, would the grants, foundations, and organizations fund this? If so which of the companies or foundations would do such? As an independent I would have the paper work provided per family/agencycriminal back ground, references, resume`, handbook, care guides and logs, documentation and overviews of daily situationsŅetc. Anyone? ThanksCynthia

While I was working on our adoption I provided caregiving services through the Social Security "Disabled" serivces. The pay rate was NOT as high had I worked through the insurance companies directly. But the certification Requirements were not nearly as vital. I did learn a few 'medical' related skills via various doctor services which provided me with a Certificate for example I was trained to set up and prep for Paritanial Dyalisis Machines and that did increase my rate of pay with the state. With the Insurance Companies I am sure there are 'rates' which will be paid depending on the 'kind' of serives offered. I belive that those would be limited to things like housekeeping or nanny work for a qualified insured. I think in order to be paid in any way for medical services you would need to have qualified medical certifications. I think this would depend on the need and the policy the family has. In some cases I would bet there are families willing to pay direct for certain kinds of hlep that may not even be covered on their insurance poilcy. I still think that your best bet is to keep becoming educated as you go along....the more you have to offere the more opportunities you have to do so.... What you are considering is something you can always be working on to expand and develope with....

I wonder at your statement that you would rather take care of terminally ill children than a child that was to be returned to a questionable birth family. A family that loves a child but has some difficulties or needs monitoring is still a better option than death. I thought that the worst thing I had ever experienced was when my FS of 18 mths was sent to live with his birth mother. Those 5 months were a terrible time and I will carry that nightmare with me forever. Once my DH broke down and stated that there was no hope. I retorted that as long as he was alive, there was hope. He now faces a different trauma. One of chemo, hair loss, steroid mood swings, unrelenting hunger and impatience, rapid weight fluctuation, nausea, pain, needles and missed school. Danger of serious infection from chicken pox or strep throat. He can't go swimming or attend friends birthday parties or other public engagements. He was dx fall/02 and missed 80 days of JK last year. This year he has missed 40 days. Those days were spent either in the hospital or at home isolated from friends and relatives, missing play dates and play groups, no visits to the library or grocery store or anywhere else there may be sick people. His treatment, if everything proceeds as hoped, will be 3 years+ and leaves him with dangerously low immunities. HIV/Aids can have similiar fears of infection. His birth sister has genetic abnormalities that give her a shortened life expectancy and a frequent ICU patient. Her foster mom is a former nurse who has many supports in place including her spouse, stepchildren, agency assistance and monthly respite to allow her to care for this child. I worry that you will be doing this alone as it can be terribly isolating. It is difficult to even get errands and chores done as he is unable to attend daycare for fear of infection. I you feel that you are able to sacrifice and that the best utilization of your abilities is to foster terminally ill children, please search out and put in place all local resources and support that you can. Perhaps there are hospices/hospitals that you could work with to provide this care within a supportive environment.

Here is something I'm working on...Your feed back is welcome: Understanding and Realization of Whom is Caring for Your Child This is the part where I tell you about myself and why I want to care for children whom may not have the length of life as we. Length is desirable to many, but I believe the importance lies in quality. Perhaps a naive sight, but one to which I have been witness. Through out my life I have been involved in one way or another with people whom have advantages and disadvantages amongst others be it through financial, emotional, spiritual or medical. This has made me strong with in my own faith and has helped me survive my own hardships and trials. I have a very loving and supporting family to whom I am extremely close. I was a heathen as a young pre-teen, but have managed, with my family to grow beyond the temptations of youth. In high school I took child education and development classes and had started baby-sitting at a young agemy first child care baby is now over 21 and in the ArmyŅI also volunteered at our local hospital for over 4 years. This was a huge influence in my life. I learned a lot more so by experience and absorption opposed to studies. Here I also learned to grieve and share the grief I felt for others beyond myself. I was employed as a nanny in Jersey for the year after high school graduation and left for a couple of reasons one being the health of my father. Upon return to Michigan I was employed at a living centre` for the aged. I worked in the kitchen as an aid and night cook and in the house keeping department. This has made me aware of hygiene and the importance of disinfecting. At this time I also volunteered at a local rail road train tours. This is where I met my late husband. While married I worked in a home for mentally impaired adults. Here I also learned state mandatedӔ hygiene, cleaning and disinfecting. I did take one meds course, but learned how to administer drugs and the like through on the job training. I chose to quit working to care for my husband at my parents home and did so until he chose to go to a hospice house where he stayed until his death. After JohnҒs death I took a nanny position in rural Wisconsin for my current employer. I stayed over a year and went home for a while working at a floral shop and in the cosmetic department of a chained drug store. After the birth of my current employers second child, I moved back to Wisconsin and have remained as the nanny through her divorce for her two biological boys and her niece and nephew whom she now has legal guardianship due to being removed from their biological motherҒs care due to the scalding of the girl. She was under 2 years old at the time. This life experienceӔ has made me wise beyond my years, my mother tells me, however in retrospect I am very grateful for the knowledge I have gained and pray for the ability to help others. I want to make it clearas of this writing __________________________ I am not certified in anything besides CPR and the first aid courses I have taken were years ago. I am not opposed to education and I will take some courses in time. Right now I have not had the opportunities to seek education out side of reading literature relating to what we are dealing. My being a nanny and devoted to my employer and her children means I have spent most of my days actively œnanny-ing. Many of the issues that I have been reading about and dealing with includes books on divorce, RAD, child abuse, child development and education, cognitive difficulties, raising ԓdifficult children, positive nutrition for children and adults and more. I obtain my resources through our library, our preschool teacher, my employer who is the mental health director at Hazelden in Center City, MN., my parents, the internet and by dealing with the situations at hand. My days had been from 6:30am Ԗ 7:00pm + extra times either with meal prep and cooking, menu planning, moral support, and extra child and pet care. Many times, I arrived while every one in asleep and left when they are tucked in. This has changed some what with the addition to my employers parents residing with in her home. This is also the reason why my presence here as a nanny is no longer needed. The three oldest children will be in school on a full time basis and the little girl will be in morning preschool and child care for the rest of the day. I want to remain in this area to be an added support system for my charges. I have been their nanny for over 6 years and I can not just leave them. If you have any question or concerns, do not hesitate to contact me. I am available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for those whom I care and their loved ones.