Dealing with guilt

Hi all-- We are new adoptive parents to a baby girl, who was born on 3/30 and came to us on 4/2. We have a very open adoption with our daughter's birth mom and have been so grateful for the experience. My trouble is letting go of the guilt I have over parenting our daughter. I know that J. (birth mother) made the decision to place her baby free and clear of coercion. However when I look at our daughter's face -- she so resembles J.! -- I can't help but remember the grief J. had at surrender. I know that J. feels good about her decision although she is still, of course, often very sad. We have a good relationship thus far with letters, pictures, phone calls and soon-to-be visits and J. has expressed her gratitude to us. What I mean is, this guilt is not coming from J. and in fact she would be upset if she knew we were feeling this way (we talked briefly about it two days after the surrender). Has anyone else felt this way? Is it something to grow out of? Sometimes I feel we so identify with J. (my husband struggles with these feelings, too) that we are having trouble taking the necessary emotional steps to feel like entitled parents. Thanks in advance, Dawn