Dealing with guilt

I to felt exactly like you are feeling. It was the hardest part of the adoption. My babies are now 12 months old and I know that we are there parents. I struggled for about 8 months with the guilt and felt like it was interfearing with our bond. I talked to others about it and read a little poem (that I read over and over for a couple of weeks) that basically said " I had nothing to feel guilty about and that they are my children" I did alot of praying to help me deal with the guilt issue. All I can tell you is that it does get better, and that I know longer struggle daily with those feelings. Actually I really do not think about it anymore unless someone posts about it. We have a semi-open adoption until the children where 1 yr. and then it was to be closed. I am open to changing it if there birthmother wants more contact. She has only seen them once since placement they where 6 months at the time. I know that it is easier on her this way, but I would gladly send pictures and updates when ever she would like. I hope you can quickly relieve yourself of your guilt for your benefit and the benefit of your child. mom to 4