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After what seems like a very long wait for me, though nothing compared to the years I've waited, I am getting to meet my son for the first time in 16 years, in just 3 short weeks! I am excited, scared, nervous, overjoyed....
He's flying to where I live and his birthfather and I will be picking him up at the airport and having dinner with him. Then he will come to my home for a few days, and then his birthfather's home for a few days. His adoptive mom said it best when she said I am "like a kid in a candy store" with my excitement.
Will he like me? What will he think of me? What will he think of my home, and my town, my other children and my spouse? Will we have anything in common, anything to talk about? Will be stay up late catching up? What will happen after the reunion? Will be exchange phone calls and emails, or will the first meeting be all he ever wants from me? I cannot wait to find out the answers to these questions!
Does anyone who has been through reunion, especially mother/son, have any tips or suggestions to make this reunion the best it can be?
Kim
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Guess what! I picked my son up from the airport yesterday evening and let me tell you, he is the most awesome kid. He is SO handsome, polite, easy going. His birthfather and I met him at the airport and then took him to eat, visited with him, and afterwards, he came back with me to meet my family and spend some time with me. Everyone just loves him. My sister drove 8 hours so that she would be here when my son got here. My 13 year old daughter sat up late last night talking with my son after I went to bed, and my 3 year old daughter is in love. She wanted to hold his hand and she kept saying his name and telling him "come on, let me show you something cool". His birth father and I told him our story while we were at dinner and we talked about stories from our dating and our son told stories of him growing up. Oh, words just cannot explain how I feel today! After the initial awkward ness at the airport, everything just seemed so natural. My sister asked me if it felt like one of my kids and it so does. I saw him coming down the escalator at the airport and I just got the biggest smile, and couldn't wait to hug him.
He's sleeping in this morning so I am getting some work done (sort of). I get 3 more days with him! This is one of the best feelings in the world, so much like bringing your infant home for the first time, only my infant is 16. All of my nervousness is gone now, and it is so nice to have all my children under one roof. This really is such a great feeling!
Thanks to everyone for helping me keep my wits about me and not diving off into the chocolate stash. haha I can tell you this was so worth the wait!
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Hi, Kim (and all on this thread)
I am so amazed at the wonderful support offered here. It proves to me what a valuable resource this forum is. (group hug to everyone)
Kim, feel free to keep posting here as things move along. I think you're received great advice and maybe your experiences can help some of the others who are near or new in their reunions.
Love and luck to you and your family,
Linda
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I've been a member here for quite some time and have read stories of reunion, some good and some bad, so I prepared myself for the very worst scenario (which is wise I think just in case). But I got the best scenario instead. Drew and I spent 3 great days together, laughing, catching up, and discovering which personality traits he got where. It was amazing how much he was like my side of the family and he agreed. My two daughters 13 and 3, bonded quickly with Drew and talk about him often. The last night he was here before he went to spend some time with his birthfather, we stayed up until past Midnight. His amom had given me a photo album of him, so he went through the pictures and told us stories about him growing up and I discovered how incredibly funny he is - he is hilarious!
So the reunion was great - but I was still prepared for the worst scenario post reunion, taking into account that he is a busy teenage boy, etc. Well I am happy to say we have exchanged several emails, as have he and my oldest daughter, and he has kept me up to date with how his Summer has been going. Let me tell you, words cannot describe the feeling I get when I receive an email from him. It is incredible. Now it gets even better. The girls and I are going to spend some time with Drew and his amom. My youngest daughter and I wll stay the weekend and my oldest daughter will stay a week and fly back! Originally, it was just supposed to be my oldest daughter flying and spending a week with Drew, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to see him again, so I am driving her there (6 hours) and she will fly back. I am so looking forward to that this coming weekend. We are going to get to meet his new girlfriend who rightfully thinks its unfair that she has to meet the approval of TWO moms! lol
Hugs to everyone. If there is anything I can do to help anyone search in New Mexico, just let me know. If I were a Miss America contestant, I would not wish for world peace (althought that is nice) but I would wish that all birthmoms and birthchildren could have wonderful reunions! Its the greatest thing, and so deserved by everyone involved!
Hugs to all of you and THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support, hugs and prayers!
Kim
Kim,
Nice to hear your update about your son. It sounds like things are going great for all of you. I am happy that you will be able to go to his house and spent time with the adoptive family.. Enjoy your time with them..
Glad things have worked out so well for you, your son and the adoptive family.. Sounds like he has 2 wonderful moms..:D
Hugs,
Cathy:)
I just thought I would update everyone. I have been in reunion with my son for nearly 2 years now. So much has happened in the relationship during those two years, and yet at times I feel very little has happened. It was fun for me to read how I was feeling before the reunion. Boy was I nervous. I even scrubbed the baseboards in my home, wanting everything to be clean and perfect for his visit. We had a great first visit. I told him my story and he understood. He doesn't blame me, isn't mad at me, nothing negative, like I worried about.
I spent the first year making several trips to see him (6 hours away). I got to watch him play football, I've met some of his girlfriends, and we've gotten to know eachother. I even got to participate in "parent's night" at one of his school activities. We don't exchange emails and phone calls as often as I like, which used to bother me, but I chalk that up to his being a busy teenager with other priorities, and on some level its even a compliment. He's so comfortable with me now, that I'm just his mom.
His Amom and I are still great friends and I look at her as a sister. When we are together our son usually introduces her first as his mother and then me as his "other mother". He and my daughters have gotten to know eachother and my youngest daughter does not remember a time when her "Brudder" wasn't in the picture. And yes, much to my disbelief, I will be attending his high school graudation this May. Wow, I can't believe I have a child that old.
There have been ups and downs in our relationship but I am so glad to have it. He's a great kid and I look forward to our continually growing relationship, knowing how blessed I am to have this opportunity so soon in his life.
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Kim, I just read your story this morning. What a great triumph!! Yours is an awesome story, and your emotions have been all over the page! Thanks for taking me on your journey. I am so happy that things started off well and have continued well for these past 2 years! Many blessings on your family. Hugs, Tammi