Cost of Adoption

May 18, 2004

I'm just starting to look at adoption, although I've got friends who have adopted domestically and internationally. My biggest question, I guess, is this: why IS it so expensive to adopt? My husband and I have an income that is far above average, and yet I don't know if we'll every be able to come up with this kind of money.

I don't begrudge anyone the right to make a decent living, and I certainly don't expect agency personnel to work as volunteers, but it does seem like the fees are rather outrageous. Think of what even half of the money paid to an agency could do for the adopted child--a college fund is just one of many possibilities that comes to mind. Reducing the financial strain on the adopting family after the child comes home is another.

I've not been able to find any information on the basis for agency fees. Nor can I understand why some agencies charge different fees for babies of different ethnicities--why should it cost less to administer the adoption of a African-American child than for a Hispanic or Caucasian child, for example? Seems like its more of a "supply and demand" issue, which doesn't seem very ethical.

Most of the agencies I've investigated make light of their fees, placing the emphasis on the idea that "if you really want a baby you'll find a way to get the money". That may be true, but since they claim their primary goal is to place children in "forever homes." If they really want to place children, seems like they'd find a way to reduce the costs.

I'm not trying to be negative or critical of agencies... I'm just trying to get some answers that would make adoption feel less like a purchase.

tobeafamily

May 18, 2004

I think when it comes to adoption, fees are probably one of the more controversial areas.

I will say this: I've not met yet an adoption professional (non-author) who's gotten rich. Our agency director drives a Corolla and lives in a modest home. When people ask her what she bases their fees on, she gives them an itemized breakdown of not just what they directly provide but also their other costs - rent, supplies, licensing fees, many hours of unreimbursed counseling and education services, etc.

Same with our attorney. If you want to be a wealthy attorney, you don't specialize in adoption. You specialize in bankruptcy or corporate law. Yes, they receive fees. They also have overhead, licensing, insurance, student loans, etc.

When we adopted, DH was an E-6 in the USN and I work as a project manager. We're not wealthy. We saved and raised money to be sure we'd have enough to pay for an adoption expense - all told it was agbout $14K, with maybe half of that going to the attorneys and agency. The rest went to travel (he was born in another state), food, lodging, networking & advertising expenses. Our costs were actually on the 'high side' - most domestic situations run under $10K. The ones you see publicized are because they're high.

The amazing part was that we barely touched our 'baby fund' AND when Ryan came and needed expensive formula, medical care, etc. it didn't cause a major dent. Why? Because we had gotten used to putting $500 a month away in savings. That $500 became our 'cash flow' for networking and travel, now goes to diapers, clothing and child care. The "baby fund" money along with our tax refund and military reimbursement is now his "college fund"

Lastly, #1Dbks is correct in that there are ways to become adoptive parents using your tax dollars alone - waiting child/foster care adoption. Your tax dollars pay the salaries of the social workers, case workers, administration, home study expense, overhead, etc. Please don't consider waiting child though only because you want to save money - these wonderful children need parents who want them for who they are and are willing to handle their issues from having a less-than-ideal start in life.

IMHO

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas