senior girls at Garrison House 1978

There are lots of reasons why a bmom might not search. Many of us never told our subsequent children and the decision to not tell becomes an issue later in life. I have been reunited with my daughter but, the way things happened was totally a "God-thing". I have 3 other children and they never knew. Their father who I am divorced from told them a few years ago (accidentally????). They were devastated and my son was most angry. So, many of us were shipped off and it was a big secret - not at all like it is today. This was before MTV and sexuality - no one talked about sex and I brought shame to my family for getting pregnant. I have since moved away from my small town and have been very successful professionally and no one knew - of course once my teenage kids knew - they had to tell their best friend so..... Another reason is because the pain of "placing your child" for adoption is soooo incredibly painful - to ever revisit that pain again is simply just too much. Once I found my daughter - I never realized the pain but I have cried more since I found her - tears of joy but also tears of incredible grief. For me - not being able to take care of my daughter and being separated from her has caused me more pain in my life than anything else. She is my flesh and blood and I have felt that I had no other options and my heart has always had this huge hole in it that nothing could fill. - To take the risk of searching and not finding may be too much for many women. I know once I started I became obsessed and found her within 10 days - I can't imagine searching and not being able to find her. I don't know if my heart could have taken it. Pray about finding your bmom - it may not be a good time in her life or yours - who knows??? I will pray for you and her - the love a mother has for her child is unbelieveable. I don't know my daughter well - but I can honestly say I love her and the bond I feel with her matches my other children that I have raised. It is so weird to know that I have met her, spoken with her - and don't really know her but love her immensely. take care, nancy