senior girls at Garrison House 1978

I always dreamed of my daughter finding me - I cannot speak for all bmom's but....it is very much a catch 22 - you hurt without them and you face painful emotions finding them - I know the timing was very important for me and her. My life is very good today and I know she was pleased with who she found. My youngest child was 16 which made it easier because she is older. I tried to locate her father and was unable to but I did find out his life wasn't very good at all. She didn't want to pursue finding him since his life wasn't good. When you are searching you have no idea what you will find. Drug or alcohol addiction/in jail/poverty stricken/abused. My 16year old at the time said "mom she is going to be so proud because you aren't a "crack whore". Once I started searching I couldn't stop and I was very aware of all of these things. I had a very strong support system and was seeing a therapist and relied heavily on this forum to get through the emotions. If this had happened a year earlier - our reunion wouldn't have gone so well. Someone told me the average age of searching is 26 - she is 26. However, I found her but she had filled out the paperwork with Gladney when I found her. my daughter wanted to know the circumstances around her adoption whic I told her - she said one of the most touching things was when I told her that I held her. It was awesome being able to tell her about the day she was born. I love her soooo much - she was not a shameful dirty secret - I was ashamed of everyone knowing I had sex - not her. I could never be ashamed of her. Lots of girls were having sex - most didn't get caught or had abortions. The sex thing what was so embarrasing. Telling your children that you got pregnant (had sex) at 17 is not what any mother wants to tell her 13 and 14 year old children. As a mother I wanted my children to be older before they knew I had sex before marriage. I have tried to raise them with moral values and when Mom can't say she was a virgin - how do you think her children see morality? I hope this is helpful - pray about this - get lots of support and take it easy - there is no rush. nancy