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Question, when the aparents send pictures, do you like them to be pictures with only the child in them, or with their family members, too? Or both, of course. I struggle with this, believe it or not, because I don't know if it hurts our dauther's birthmom to see us in the pictures, or not. I would appreciate any input.
THANKS!
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I think a mixture is best. I like to have some of Marie alone, but I also like the family ones, too. ONe of my favorites is of her and her dad. He's holding her by a window, the light is streaming in, and they just look so perfect together. It's in black and white, and it's beautiful..
Also, make sure they're GOOD pics!!!! I know some amoms send the blurry or not-well-framed ones on purpose, because they think the clear closeups will just make us miss our bchildren more, but that is just not true. Those beautiful pictures help soooo much.
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When we were chosen by the birthmother, we started researching everything we could get our hands on about adoption, open, semi-open, etc. and read about adoptive parents that would send blurry pictures, or pictures where the child was not dressed very well, etc. I think that is horrid, and not very fair. We send the very best of the best of pictures (tons of them, too) to the birthmother and to her birth-grandmother. Although, we have started just sending duplicates to the birthmother so she can control who gets the pics and when. The reason I ask is that the last packet of pictures was given to her in person by us, because the agency misplaced the packet. When she got to the one of me holding her, she kind of made a disgusted face, and I certainly don't want to hurt her. But then again, I'm always trying to read everything on her face, so it could very well have been my way, over-active imagination. Thanks for the post!
mom2gracelyn,
How old is your daughter? How "new' is the adoption?
At first I did not like the pics of Marie with her family. It sort of brought home the fact that she wasn't "mine." It took a while to get used to them.
Give her time.. she may come around.
As for reading her face... who knows. Yeah, you may be just imagining things. You might not be. If you really want to know.. can you ask her??? Ask her which she likes best.
Even though I didn't like the family ones at first, now I'm glad that I have them and saw them... it helped me accept the adoption, something I needed to do (denial is never the answer to anything.) :)
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