Another New wanna be mom

Why don't you come home?

It's a long boring story but in the short of it--Lack of $$$$$ and no family support to help! It's ok l am so sorry l posted now this isn't the forum to place topics like this on, l was just feeling a little sad this morning when l posted and seeing all of you talking about your families and adopting new ones just made me all broody. Please accept my apologies!!!

Don't be sorry, everyone needs to vent once in a while. Where are you originally from? Do you have a current passport? Remember, where there's a will, there's a way. There is always a way to raise $$, and I'll be your family if you're in need!! Pm me if you'd like to chat! Jen

Hi Jen, l am orginally from Illinois, and l do have a passport! I am currently living in Northern lreland. l married this man who was from Scotland. I moved there after we got married. Then we moved here to Northern lreland because l hated Scotland!! lol l have been here in NI for almost 2 years now! But in the UK for almost 3!!

Lady - it does not sound like your husband would be a very good father as he is resisting trying to get pregnant with you and he has other children elsewhere he does not see. If you want to parent children you may have to go it alone. You may want to return to the US and get settled and financially stable and look into fostering. There are thousands of children here that need homes. I think the social workers looking into your situation are very quickly seeing you do not have the proper home life for a child by talking to your husband. If you love your husband and wish to stay with him you may need counseling to deal with your grief of not having children to raise. Are there any other outlets where you are living now where you could be a Big Sister (like the Big Brother/Big Sister organizations in the US?)

l agree with you on the fact that he has sabatoged all aspects of future children. l can't understand why he has chosen that route but he did. l wish he would have told me before we got married. l work for social services myself. l am what they call a family support worker and go into families homes to help with raising children, behavior issues, and child development. These are with families that are with social services for various reasons. So l knew the SW that came into the home initally to interview us and l think if l was the only one looking into fostering then they would have given me a child almost right away but with hubby being the way he is l feel he is the downfall. This situation l am in right now is not going to change until l get it to change, l know that. l am trying hard to get myself out of it and get back home and get back on a better track. But for now it's a tough situation since, with my work hours and pay, and the fact that hubby doesn't (won't) work our finances are horrible. The job situation here is horrible and the pay is even worse. l make 5.88 an hour working 16 hours a week. When l left the states l was making $10.60/hr, 40 hours a week and most likely would be now making $13-14 an hour if l had stayed!!! WHAT WAS l thinking? lol Thank you all for your support and kindness, l know what l have to do, it's just getting the finances together to do it! And maybe, quite possibly, after all of this is done, l will have the opportunity to have a child or children in my home with me and can post my good news with all of you. Thank you again!!! :)

Go to the nearest American Embassy and ask for help.

Hello LadyDarcy, We lived in Cork, Ireland for about 18 months. There are some very lovely members there who often took in anybody who needed help. I know everyone is encouraging you to leave, but they haven't asked some important question, "Do you love your husband? Do you want to stay with him?" What you really need is Marriage and Family counseling. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence. (Of course, I do not think that any place has greener grass than Ireland. LOL) You need to explore all your options. And you need to find out why your husband does not want to adopt. My husband and I have adopted two wonderful daughters. But, I would not have proceeded with looking into adoption if my husband had not also wanted it. OF course, I would not have married him if he was against adoption. We talked about adoption before we were married. It was something I wanted to do even before we found out we had fertility problems. Sorry to ramble on. But, you do need to look inside yourself and make some hard decisions. Raising children is the hardest thing I have ever done. Parenting is not for everyone. Maybe your husband knows that he would not make a good parent. Maybe he never really wanted any children. I don't know. If being a parent is the more important than your marriage, then coming back to the US may be what you need to do. If there is any love left in your marriage, maybe you can unofficially adopt another family and be the unofficial grandparent in some child's life. I am sure that there are many people who would love to have you become a secial part of their family. Look around you and reach out to the other members. Please go and talk with the Bishop/Branch President. Good luck and God Bless

I would suggest you fix your relationship with your hubby before bringing a child into it. He doesn't seem to respect your feelings. Maybe you should come back to USA if you aren't happy. LDSFS rules say you need to be sealed in the temple for 2 years before usuing them to adopt.

I'm a church member living in Dublin. We have nearly adopted a baby boy, Andre. We have a court hearing in Russia on Aug 20th. I would be happy to chat to you if you think it might help. We're only the second LDS family to adopt inter country in the Republic, (that i know of). If there's anything i can do feel free to get in touch.

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply back, been working a lot lately! A warm thank you to everyone who has written/replied to me! I really do appreciate the support! Gabsdot, l am only about 2 hours north of you! Thank you for your kind offer and Congratulations on the new arrival! Unfortunately, we were married in a civil ceremony in the church and hubby is not Mormon. So we were not sealed together. We did have a long talk other night and he said he felt that he was losing me! :rolleyes: No kidding!!! But of course now he has begun to treat me like l am the stupidest person alive. l know nothing and he knows everything!!!! :rolleyes: We did talk about the child issue and he wouldn't answer me on a lot of questions. But then again, l don't really think l would want a child with him, nor would l want to adopt a child into this relationship. He has some weird ways of "raising" a child and l wouldn't want to subject that child to that kind of absurdity! So my goal now is to leave him as soon as possible. l am getting ready to do that, it's just unfortunately going to take some time to do it! As l don't have a lot of money to speak of! Thank you all for your kind words and support!! l really do appreciate everything you have said to me!!!