New to Adoption & Looking for Info.

First, I'd see if she's interested in making an adoption plan with you. You can either communicate directly with her - "I understand you want to make an adoption plan. We'd really like to talk with you about that b/c we'd like to adopt a child". If she decides to make a plan with you, then your next step would be to complete a homestudy. This will take 2-3 months to do and must be done by a licensed social worker. You might also take advantage of adoption counseling for yourselves and this young lady. You will also need to complete a documented face-to-face meeting, generally in the office of your attorney or agency/social worker. There will also be an exchange of identifying information, also required by law. Fees will run you anywhere from $2500 - $5000 for your homestudy, post placement supervision and legal fees. This is not due all at once, rather paid out over time. Plesae send me a PM or e'mail and I'll give you the name of our agency and attorney, though both are in SEVA (Virginia Beach). They may be able either to work with you or make recommendations of professionals in your area. HTH, Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

Thank you so much for replying to my post, I'm new to boards so I'm not sure how this PM works. I tried sending this as a PM but it ended up in my Inbox?... My husband actually talked with her last night and she agreed to sit down with us this Friday and try to figure out if this is something she wants to pursue with us. In a way I am afraid because we know her mom and go to church with them. For the baby's sake I would love for him to know his mother and grandparents but I also know this could be an akward situation since she is giving her mother custody of her current daughter. I accept that this might not work out, I guess I'm worried about the what-ifs if it does happen. Adoption has been a dream for my husband and I since we discovered my infertility problems and we started thinking about International adoption (Russia & Ukraine) but when we got our info packet we were overwhelmed by the process and requirements. Now it seems like a miracle that we would be given this opportunity and I don't want to pass it up. I would appreciate the info on your attorney & agency. My husband is going to our local dept. of Social Service (we live in Abingdon, VA) today to see what information they can provide, I wonder if they will do a homestudy and if the cost would be any less than through an agency? Thank you so much for your reply!

If social services will do the homestudy then it definitely will be cheaper. Here in SEVA they don't do them for you unless you're adopting through them, though I wonder if that's just a local thing. I think you can always worry about what-ifs, and that can make you seriously crazy. Openness in adoption can be very positive and rewarding, it can also be very hard at times. Our relationship with Ryan's bfamily is fully open. I wouldn't have it any other way. HTH best of luck and I PM'd you the agency & atty info. Regina

Best of luck, I'm thinking of you! You definitely want to ask DSS what the time frame for home studies is looking like. I don't know how far along your friend is, but social services is notoriously hard to work with, although in Abington, it shouldn't be too busy. Richmond never even returned our calls. Our private homestudy cost us $1600. You can check with Catholic charities, I think they have a Roanoke location. Also Children's home society. Also, if this situation doesn't work out, if you're homestudied with an agency, they usually keep you on their list of afamilies. Also, we are using a lawyer in RIC that's only $350 for finalization. I'm not sure what the lawyer fees for a private adoption are though... I'm sure tobeafamily is right on the money though!! You and your friend are in my prayers! Dot

Thanks for your reply! We are finding out just how hard it is to get a hold of someone at DSS... My husband went by the local office in Bristol and they told him they only had one caseworker and she was out of the office everyday and he could leave a message for her, then she found out we lived in Abingdon and told him they had just opened an office in Abingdon and we should go up there. So he went to the Abingdon office and the caseworker was out and they took our name and number and said they would give us a call back... As of today we are still waiting to hear from them. Tonight we get to sit down and talk with *** and see exactly how she's feeling and what her plans are, I want to support her in any way I can. She's only 3 month pregnant right now so there is a lot that can happen between now and January... (With her health and her decisions) And I think this has really been a motivator for us to go ahead and do the homestudy and leave our names on the list, incase this doesn't work out.