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Does anybody already have older twins? We're looking at a pair of 9 year old girls, twins, and had no intention of looking at sybing groups, but these popped up, and they are really sweet.
My mom says that twins are no good, that they gang up on you. But I would think that they would be good company for each other, as we have no other children, and a lot of kids don't like to be alone. These girls have a very strong bond and don't want to be seperated, as I can understand. But will they be twice the trouble?
Any advice appreciated.
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I can tell you that twins are great! I'm one. Now my mother could tell you that they are double the work at first, but if you have help it's not to bad. And I can tell you that yes do not split them up, they need each other. My mother use to tell us stories about how as toddlers we had are own language. And that my twin started to walk before me but stopped because I wasn't walking. My twin has always been there for me, she's alway been my playmate, my buddy, and my best friend. And because of the joy that my twin and I have had I have always wanted twins myself. But my son wasn't that lucky, he has been an only child his whole life. Only children do get lonely.
Hope this helps
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If you don't want two children, don't take two. My twins are wonderful but are often twice the trouble and then some. They are also great company for each other. I adopted them at 8 and they are now 15. One did create serious issues for the other as he was the dominant twin and had the most serious issues upon arrival(I was told they had no issues and were just energetic).
My friend raised twin girls adopted older and while they also were good company for each other, they did gang up on mom and were eventually seperated around age 13 as their issues became more than their parents could handle.
There are good and bad with twins or any siblings. Twins are still two people with two personalities and if siblings are not on your list, don't be swayed to take them just because they are twins.
I'm not saying that I DON'T want two. They are both beautiful girls, in very different ways. They are fraternal, not identical, and they have very different personalities. I have just beein TOLD that they would be too much for us.
As far as two at once, I don't know how I feel. I know that we would probably end up adopting a second girl eventually, company sake, we live in a quiet and retired town, in an old people retired neighborhood, and there wouldn't be much in the way of friends for her locally. While our congregation does have several girls around that age, one of the reasons we're considering that age, we are somewhat out of the way of the families that have girls on a regular, non-Sunday basis. They live very much to the north and we to the south, so it would be at least a half-hour drive.
I'm trying to remember back to my own childhood. I do love my sister desperately, and though we were four years and great personalities apart, people seemed to think we were twins. Always dressed the same, boughten identical gifts, etc. At 16 and 20 our rooms were an interesting contrast, each containing EXACTLY the same items, and not looking much if all alike, J having a traditional personality, and traditional bedroom, in traditional colors, while Georgie must needs turn her bedroom into a living room, complete with coffee table, day bed, etc, in Ultra bright white ceiling paint with a nay blue door. We did have a very close relationship, for even though we lived in the heart of NYC, our parents didn't want us going out without adult supervision, (for obvious reasons), and neither of us having magnetic personalities, we spent most of our time together. The age difference between us was always a problem to our being closer friends however. J didn't want a "kid" following her around in public, (while SHE followed ME around in private). I have wondered if we would have been closer if we'd been closer in age. Twins might be the ideal relationship. Neither can think the other a baby or a burden. I know I cannot handle twin infants, but at nine, they're at a very sociable age, and might do better for not being alone.
The question is, would they bond less with me for having each other, or would, as their personalities are very distinct, each find something in their parents to bond with, and something in their sister to bond with.
A lot of what your asking depends on the children's backgrounds.
Can they bond at all? How were the first two years of their life? How many times have they been moved? With my twins, one was bonded to the other, but the other did not have the ability to bond. After years of intense treatment and 17 months in residential, the twins do appear to have a bond with each other. During the seperation, the remaining twin was able to bond with me. The twin who returned, does have a relationship with me as well as he is able. Sometimes twins are good for each other and sometimes not. Can you talk to the former and currant foster parents? They may be able to give you more insite on the type of relationship the kids have with each other and fill in some of the blanks for you.
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No, I didn't. :(
We began going through the first steps of the paperwork, and had a heart-2-heart with an adoption counselor.
The result being that the plans for having children are currently on hold for two years, while I work on my health. In two years, we'll take it up again.
I hope the girls did get a good home, but I've been so busy with new medications and therapies that I have not had the time to find out.