Birthmom x 2

Hey everybody. This is my first time here and I guess we have something in common. What's different about me is I have been a birthmother twice. It's been a hard road for me. My parents pretty much shut me out and my relationship was never the same. I live with my regrets every day, and to be honest I guess I should have gotten some counseling, but the way things were for me at home it was just shoved under the table. My first adoption was in 1982 , a boy. I've gotten 1 letter from him about 4 years ago but nothing else. My second was in 1983 a girl. I spent alot of time with her, I picked her family and I got pictures up until she was about 8 I guess then those stopped. So any advice for me about guilt even after so long would be a great help , thanks