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IT COULDN'T BE ANY MORE PERFECT THAN THIS!!!!!
I have posted on this site many, many times. I have been helping my brother-in-law search for his birthmother. He is a wonderful man, and is married to my sister. He and I are the same age, grew up in the same community and were in school together from Kindergarten until we graduated from high school. We have always been close. I guess about four years ago (maybe longer) he sent off for his Non-Identifying Information from DSS in Columbia. It told a little about his birthmom and her family but of course, all of the important information had been whited out. It told about his birth and what he looked like. Again, there were no names mentioned, no Counties mentioned, no State mentioned. Nothing! He showed me all of this about 3 years ago and said he wondered if he could find his mother. So, I set out on a mission. I devoted every free moment to adoption chat rooms and adoption websites. I researched constantly. I had figured out that she had to be from a county with five letters because that's how many letters had been erased. We kind of figured she was from SC and we knew that he was born in NC. The only counties in SC with five letters were Union, Horry and Aiken. I put so many postings on the adoption websites looking for her. We got some responses, but it never was a match. So, I quit looking for awhile.
In the meantime, my brother-in-law registered with DSS and International Soundex, which are both reunion registries. This meant, that if the ** ever tried to contact DSS to look for him, they would contact him. I advise anyone searching to be sure and register....everywhere you can. But, especially with International Soundex and DSS (if your adoption was through them).
My brother-in-law was excited (as excited as he can get) but I think he never thought he would find his birthmom. He is a very private person, and struggled about the decision to start searching. His adoptive parents were wonderful and he had a very wonderful childhood. He once asked his adoptive mom if she knew anything about his **. She responded tearfully, "Why do you want to hurt me like this?" After that, he never mentioned it again. He hasn't told his adoptive mom anything yet and probably will wait awhile before he does. He loves her so much and he doesn't want to hurt her.
The conversation went like this.....
**: Hello?
Brother-in-law: Is this Debbie?
**: Yes. Who is this?
BIL: This is your son.
**: Oh my God! Thank you God! I have waited 32 years for this call.
Needless to say, they talked for two hours the first time. She told him that she was forced by her parents, in an awful way, to give him up. She tried running away, but they found her. She was 17 and scared and had nowhere to go. She had prayed that God would let her meet her son before she died.
After two weeks of two hour phone calls every night, they finally met this past Sunday. With my sister by his side, he came face to face with the woman who carried him for nine months...the woman whose blood runs through him. They had spent so much time talking on the phone, that they were so comfortable with one another. She reached out and touched his face and he smiled. Thus...here we are now!
My brother-in-law has never said one negative thing about his ** and harbors no resentment AT ALL!!! He really understands why she did what she did. Her birthday is Friday, and she got her present early. She has three other grown children and they all cannot wait to meet their new brother. Everyone is so excited!!!
I tell you all this to let you know that anything is possible. If you are serious about finding a birthparent, they can be found.
So NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.
Remember:
YESTERDAY IS GONE
TOMORROW ISN'T PROMISED
TODAY IS A GIFT
THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE PRESENT!!!!!!
IT COULDN'T BE ANY MORE PERFECT THAN THIS!!!!!
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