Adoptees with gay Adoptive parents

This isn't totally related, but a little bit. Plus, it's kind of funny so I thought I would share. My 9 year old birthdaughter is not adopted by gay parents, but one of her best friends is the daughter of gay parents so she is pretty comfortable with their relationship. So, one day my birthdaughter was talking to her dad and she said: "Dad, who do you think I'm going to marry?" Her dad replied "I don't know. You probably haven't even met him yet." She responded with "How do you know it's a him? I could be gay, y'know!" He almost fell over laughing, then amended his statement with "you probably haven't met him or her yet." I don't know if this helps at all, but...

my partner and i are adopting too, and i am also interested in hearing about adoptee's experiences. i would like any advice on how to make this easer on them. they will be older, from two to ten years, and we will not have had the time from birth to teach them about tollerence and such. all i want for them is for them to have a happy childhood where they feel safe and know they are loved.

Two of my very good friends were brought up by gay fathers. (one girl, one boy) They treated the girl like a girl, and the boy like a boy. The daughter is now a family doctor, and the son is in college, playing football. We were all brought up in a multiracial, multi-personality school, and learned much tolerance through our schooling. Both of the kids are visciously protective of their Dads, and feel as though they couldn't have asked for a better upbringing. They have both met their birth mothers, who at the time were a bit surprised, but every one got along so well, that they are know tight!! Good luck, I'm sure love will make it right!!! Danielle

tuskvet, on another thread, someone linked an exhibit of kidswho were brought up their GLBT parents. It was very interesting, affirming and touching....check with echoes, she was the one who linked it. I think alot depends on where you live to be honest. check out schools, find out how tolerant they are. i do belive kids are accepting more diversity then we might of had when we grew up. alot GLBT people are adopting or have bchildren..its not 'unnormal' as it use to be. we have alot of GLBT parents who are our friends and our children are around them alot...we want our chidlren to grow up with diversity all around them....we actually want them to just think of it as the 'norm' and not even question anyone differences...it is what it is. I think alot of children, rather have parents of any kind, then not have parents at all. i think as you go on your adoption journey, you will feel more comfortalbe because the kids really couldnt care less... We always hear that children of gay parents will "get teased" about having gay parents as a parent, if my children teased anyone due to who they are, or who their parents in...would then have to hear it from me.... :mad: :) and i think you will find that with alot of parents..... when we go to birthday parties, and the parents are there, its pretty clear that no one has any issues with GLBT parents...they are just other parents with kids...thats really all. but i think each state has different views, we are from mass. well...do i need to say more.... anyway...good luck, a child is just waiting for you two to find her/him so he/her can have a forever family too....just like everyone else...

I wasn't originally adopted by a gay couple, however my amom and adad divorced very soon after I was adopted. My amom had a few relationships with other men and from what I understand some woman too. Anyway when I was around 5 my amom met the woman she has been with for almost 20 years. She moved into our house and has been there ever since. My mom didn't "come out" to me in her own words until I was 17. Now I'm not dumb the older I got I figured out what the deal was and I was fine with it. I was never really made fun of in school, but Not many people knew I lived with 2 moms. My mom and pat hid it well, we lived in a very small town at the time with people with ridiculous notions of gay people in there heads. When I was 14 we moved across the country, I didn't know then the reason but now I understand. My amom ran an adult foster home and a woman in the community found out or figured out my amom was gay. This woman was someone who people listened to and my mom started losing buisness so basically we were forced to move to a place to start over. I didn't have to deal with it then because I thought we were moving to be closer to grandma, now I am very angry, not at my parents but at the community we used to live in. Anyway it was the best thing that could have happened. My mom and pat seem much more willing to let people know now that they are a couple and not just roomates. My mom even told some of her friends from our old town and they have been accepting. After I was officially told they were a couple I was scared to tell people at first because it was a new thing and I wasn"t sure how people would react but now I don't care how people react. I love my mom and pat and they have been together longer than most of my friends parents. I always hear people debating about gay adoption and how its wrong because the child will grow up confused, and get teased or whatever, I am not confused about relationships, I have been lucky to never have been teased, of course my friends didn"t find out until we were teenagers but nobody cared. Anyway sorry to ramble, I'm so happy to hear you are going to adopt. If you have any questions about anything I have been through (being adopted and raised by a gay couple :) or anything) please feel free to ask. jeanette